I go out with friends a lot. I’m a regular at The Wild Colonial in downtown Providence. I love to go and have a beer with friends. However, I’m not one to go out and get absolutely shit-faced and stumble home at 4 AM. That doesn’t mean that other people don’t do that, though.

Drunk people are fascinating. I’ve honestly met some of the most interesting people while one of us was drunk. Drunk people are honest and open-– they really don’t have any inhibitions. This comes out in big ways in ladies’ rooms. Some of the nicest things I’ve ever heard women say to each other were while inebriated in a bathroom at a club or a bar. Here are some of the nicest (and also funniest) things I’ve heard girls say to one another while drunk.

1. "Look at you, you look like Beyonce's back-up dancer."

2. "I have never seen fleekier eyebrows in my damn life."

3. "Your hair is so perfect. How did you get your hair so perfect? What styling tools of the gods do you own?"

4. "So are you a makeup artist or...?"

5. "Jesus himself would break celibacy for you if he saw you tonight."

6. "GIRL WORK THEM HEELS!"

7. "You're ridiculously pretty, you don't even need makeup."

8. "If I were a lesbian, I'd totally sleep with you. In fact I might sleep with you anyway."

9. "Girl you have legs for days and you have no idea how jealous I am."

10. "THOSE ARE YOUR REAL EYELASHES?!"

11. "To be honest, you're the classiest bitch I've seen in here all night."

12. "Who cares if Jason isn't here? You could have any other guy in this room. Look at you, you're like sex on legs."

13. "Your outfit is fire. I'm surprised someone hasn't called the fire department yet."

14. "Shut up, you're perfect. Hold my purse."

15. "You look like you could be in a rap video, that's how hot you look right now. I'm talking close ups."

16. "You're a much better friend than Becky. She sucks. Don't tell her I said that."

17. "I'm buying you a drink."

18. "I love you."