We all have little things that just set us off. I'm no exception to that.
People say little things without thinking all the time but some stick with you more than others. People are living their lives and it's really not your concern on the way they're doing it. It's time we all stopped making the little comments and just started living.
These are just some of the things people say that maybe we should consider stopping.
1. "Things could be worse"
Well yes, of course they could be. Someone always has it worse and I recognize that. I would be crazy to think my life was the worst possible life on the face of this planet. However, that doesn't mean what I'm going through isn't hard in its own way. To me, what is happening might be the worst thing I've ever actually experienced.
Don't disregard others problems just because "things could be worse." Saying this also doesn't make the problem at hand disappear. It is still evident and still occurring. So yes, things could be worse but knowing that doesn't help me.
2. Anything related to body shaming
I've always been a thinner person. It's nothing I control; it just has always been that way. Sure, I would consider myself lucky, but one thing other people need to understand is that this is just the way I am. I don't work to look like this. I've had random strangers come up and comment on my weight before. Saying things like, "You should eat more!" or "Have a cheeseburger!" or even simply, "You look sick." News flash: I'm not sick; I do eat cheeseburgers (you'd be surprised at how much I actually eat), and I can't help that my metabolism is still crushing it. Stop saying these things to thin woman!
It goes the other way as well. No one should ever comment on another's weight. It is not okay to tell larger individuals that they should lose weight either. Everyone is who they are and that's that. It's not your business on what other people do. I wouldn't tell someone they're too big, so they shouldn't tell me I'm too small.
3. "You're a bitch!"
Yes, wow, never heard that one before. I'm the type of person who is honest, always. If you ask for an opinion, you will get an honest one. I won't sugar coat things, so don't be upset if what I say was not what you wanted to hear.
If you make an advance at me and I'm not interested, I will let you know. Asking to buy me a drink does not obligate me to accept the offer. If I say no or brush you off, that doesn't make me a bitch, it makes me honest. I'd rather say no upfront than lead someone on. I've always been this way and for me it works. I don't understand beating around the bush or how a little white lie might make someone feel better.
4. "How are you still single?"
Obviously, I'm freaking crazy. (JUST KIDDING.)
If I had an answer to that question, I probably wouldn't be single. I just haven't found the right person yet. Being single also doesn't mean I'm avidly looking for a relationship. Maybe I'm content being single, ever think of that? And just because you think I'm cool, doesn't mean I need to be interested in you. I'm single because that's the way it is right now. This doesn't mean something is wrong with me or that I can't find a relationship.
Stop asking people this. It's annoying.
5. "But you don't look sick"
I have fibromyalgia, a disorder that causes widespread chronic pain. Doctors believe it stemmed from a previous injury I had received. To look at me, you wouldn't know anything is wrong with me. Sure, this isn't a life threatening illness, but it still affects me daily.
Something that has always bothered me is the reaction I receive once people find out. I've heard, "You don't look sick though," or "I never would have guessed." Right, like you look at someone and immediately think, "Hmmm, this person must be sick" on a regular basis. Of course I don't look sick, it doesn't affect my appearance in any way. I won't lose my hair or have to make regular trips to the doctor but just because I don't look sick, doesn't mean I'm not. As I said earlier in the article, things could be worse. But for me when I have flare ups, that is my worst. Some days I don't walk normally because of the pain or I don't get out of bed because it hurts to move.
No one should be skeptical on another's condition simply because it's not visible. You never know what someone else is going through.
6. "Haha! It must be free!"
If you're at a store and something isn't scanning, don't be this person. It's not going to be free. You know this, I know this, and the lady rolling her eyes in line behind you knows this. I've worked in retail for most of my part time jobs and nothing bothered me more than this. It doesn't affect my personal life directly but it's still something that I'm tired of hearing. I'm trying to figure out how to ring the item up so I'm already annoyed it's not working. Don't add to that annoyance.
7. "So and so is out of my league"
NO! The only leagues that exist are for sports or maybe alliances. Not for humans. Take the chance and go for it. If you assume someone is out of your league, you could miss out on a chance of a life time. The world works in mysterious ways. The more people say this, the less they begin to believe in themselves. I've had people tell me before that they didn't make a move because they thought I was out of their league, when in all actuality I was super interested. I took a step back when you did.
Stop putting yourself down and shoot your shot. You never know what could come from it.
8. "What do you want to do when you graduate?"
*shrugs* I don't have a damn clue.
If I knew, I wouldn't be so stressed out all the time. I'll graduate with a degree in the field I chose to study, but that doesn't mean I have any idea what I want to do with that. I don't know where I want to live and I don't know what job I'll actually get. Sure, I could tell you my ideal happenings for when I graduate, but when does that ever go exactly as planned? Hardly ever. So stop asking this, no one really knows what they want to do for the rest of forever.
9. "You look tired!"
I see you noticed I didn't put makeup on today.
I think girls can especially relate to this one. When you go out looking even slightly different than normal, people will comment on it. I probably look tired because I am tired. My sleep schedule is out of whack and I'm constantly stressed out about something, so yeah, I do look tired. Or maybe, I just didn't feel like putting in the effort to slap makeup on.
Don't judge the bags under my eyes and don't tell me I look tired. I know what I look like — I own a mirror. This bring me to the next one…
10. "You're so pale, go get some sun!"
I never thought the way to not be pale would be to get some sun. Wow, thanks for the suggestion, you just changed my life. Like hello, yes I know I'm pale. I can see my skin, it's been this color my whole life. I usually don't tan no matter how much sun I get. I'll burn sometimes, but usually it just fades and I'm back to being pale. This is something that also doesn't bother me. I'm not going to get a spray tan or go to a tanning bed. I don't care. It's my skin, it's the color it is and that's that.
Stop reminding me of something I see literally every day.
11. Shaming girls
Something that baffles me is when people call girls derogative names — and girls are the fastest to do this to other girls. A girl does something another doesn't like and suddenly she's a whore. Or a girl sleeps with someone and suddenly is a slut. Most people are hooking up. Guys don't get called names for having sex, they get high-fives. It's a double standard in that regard.
We need to stop using mean names and start encouraging each other. I'm not saying condone every action of someone, but maybe choose to not comment on it instead. It's not fair to label someone as whore or slut because they've done something that makes you jealous or you don't approve of.
12. "You know more about sports than I expected"
Why? Because I'm a girl? This is something that really triggers me. People, mostly guys, assume that just because I'm a girl, I don't know anything about sports. To be honest, I know more about sports than most dudes. Basing a judgement strictly off my gender is offensive. I'm not one to be super feminist or anything, but this isn't okay. Sports are a universal thing, anyone can enjoy them.
Fun fact: I was talking to some kid at the bar once about baseball. We were chatting about our favorite teams and the highlights that were flashing across the TV over the bar. We got onto a particular topic, the age of a player, and that's when he proposed a bet. If the age I said was correct, he'd buy me a drink. If the age he said was correct, I'd buy him a drink. Being so confident in my answer, I took the bet. As I was looking up the answer, he leaned over to his friend and said something to the effect of how he was about to get a free drink cause he made a bet with me (a girl) about baseball. He thought there was no way he could lose.
Long story short, I was right and he ended up buying me a drink. As he handed me the drink, he made a comment about how he was surprised I knew so much about the sport itself along with the individual players before asking for my phone number. I took the drink and thanked him without leaving my phone number. Maybe if he wasn't so pompous about being right simply because I was a girl talking about sports, he could have gotten my number.
Moral of the story: don't underestimate girls when it comes to sports.
13. "I miss you! Let's hangout soon!"
Don't lie to me. You don't miss me. You text me once a month to tell me that you miss me and we should hang out. But then we never do. So no, you don't miss me. I won't say it back because then I'd be a liar. And I'm not a liar. Maybe I'll say sure let's hangout when you bring it up, but I never make solid plans. If I missed you and cared enough to actually hangout, it would happen. But it's not, so stop bothering me with these empty texts.
14. "You drink too much!"
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Thanks mom, I had no idea what my habits were like. Drinking too much would be when your daily life is affected. I am still doing what I need to do on a daily basis, and it hasn't interfered with my life in anyway. I'm a college kid trying to enjoy myself. Let me do that. I understand friends will say this to you because they care; I've hypocritically said this to my friends, but drop it. After mentioning it once, don't bring it up again.
Until life is truly affected, it's nothing to worry about. I'm just enjoying myself and doing what I want to do. If that means going to the bar on a Tuesday night, then so be it.
While some of these might not bother you in the same way they bother me, I'm sure someone can relate. Everyone needs to start minding their own business and doing what they want to do. It shouldn't matter what someone else has to say, even though most times it does for people. Stop prying into other people's lives and worry about you. There's no need to put others down or ask/say silly little things.