Things You Can Do Instead of Insulting Brock Turner

Things You Can Do Instead of Insulting Brock Turner

If they cannot say "yes" (unconscious, say?), hesitate, say "maybe later", or say no, that means no. That just means no. Sorry.
Jessica
Jessica
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Unless you've been living under a rock (or just don't spend a lot of time on social media, that works too), you know about what occurred at Stanford and the Stanford rapist. You know an unconscious woman was raped behind a dumpster and a judge gave a rather light sentence. You know a woman has needed to make very public statements regarding what someone did to her - this woman can Google herself and see her statements at 2 AM when she's had nightmares. This woman has exposed what happened to her, and can look at the very comments you're posting. She has subjected herself to the judgment of thousands of people - and whether you'd like to admit it or not, there is a culture of blaming a woman for what happened to her. She can read all of this. These articles will never die. Those comments will never die. Her living hell that night will never die, either.

But now that I've effectively freaked you out, I also want to reiterate her reasons for remaining anonymous aside from probably everyone knowing her name and knowing the details of what happened. She more or less said she is "every woman". She is the woman you don't know at that party who has a guy following her. She is the friend of yours who has an ex who won't leave her alone. She is the woman who was sexually assaulted by her boyfriend, who people still call a "nice guy". She is the woman who was raped. Whether you'd like to admit it or not, all of these scenarios are various forms of sexual harassment and sexual assault. She stands as a quiet representative of the struggles of women in a college setting - or just anywhere, at all.

And that's why I don't just want you to insult Brock Turner. Your angry Facebook shares are good, it lets your friends know where you stand - but that's really all it does. Everyone (except his parents, apparently) know Brock Turner raped someone. No matter the amount of shares, Brock Turner can never undo what he did, or even learn what he did wrong, it seems.

Instead of insulting Brock Turner...

Donate to an organization.

You literally don't even need to move from a chair. You can even probably do it on your phone in your bed. You find your pocket change, your extra 5 bucks, and donate it. That's it. That's all you do. It's over in five minutes.

If a woman seems uncomfortable, help her out.

Anyone who knows the appropriate boundaries regarding sexual assault and sexual harassment should be able to recognize it. If you see it, try to include her in what you're doing. She's probably looking for an escape. Say you thought someone on the other side of the room was calling her over. Don't just walk away, especially if there's a lot of other people there. Be comrades. We're all in this. We all suffer this. If you see something, say something.

Listen to your friend who was assaulted.

This situation has likely been very conflicting for sexual assault or sexual harassment victims. The same people who may not have wanted to listen to the victim's story a month or a year or five years ago, could be the same people angry about Brock Turner. The same people who are being so outspoken could have also shunned someone from saying what happened. The same people who are angry about Brock Turner might not have been so angry when it was his or her childhood best friend, or high school sweetheart, or even their own kid. So listen to her. Maybe even ask her how she's doing if it was recent.

Don't blame her.

I really need to explain this? If she tells you, I don't care if she walked naked down the street in the middle of Times Square dipped in neon green paint and covered with sparkles. "But you shouldn't have gone", "but you should've told him to stop", "but you should've been more assertive", "but you shouldn't have drank". No, the assaulter/harasser should have been a decent human being.

If she's uncomfortable, back off.

I'm not typing a full paragraph for this. Men who are angry over Brock, please consider how your actions might affect a woman you know. You might think it's harmless, but she might perceive it differently. Not all sexual harassment and sexual assault is the stereotypical "strange man following you at night" . A lot of assaulters and harassers know the victims. They were their friends, their lovers, their workers. Now, they are violated, in a blip of time - a short period of time, but one that will alter the rest of time.

If you have to do volunteer work for a job/school/etc, see if there's organizations that will accept you.

Angry Facebook posts don't enhance anyone's life. They don't directly help anyone else who's dealing with this; a victim will always wonder how you would react to THAT story. Not every case of rape, assault or harassment is as public as this one. In fact, most go unreported. Volunteering will show you that. Volunteering will show you what a regular, non-famous assault is like.

Be active.

Write to Congressmen. Put out the call to remove the judge. Invite speakers to your school. Spread awareness. Talk to people. Talk to guys about this. Confront guys if you see them engaging in this.

Don't rape people. Or pressure people. Or stalk people.

Don't rape people. Don't rape people. Don't rape people. If they cannot say "yes" (unconscious, say?), hesitate, say "maybe later", or say no, that means no. That just means no. Sorry.

That's my only angry Facebook post about Brock Turner - you've just read it.









Cover Image Credit: http://www.scienceofrelationships.com

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