Exes are the worst. Generally, they come with conflict and embarrassment. Seven times out of ten, I would rather slam my head through a window than talk to any form of an ex. Here are a few other things that I'd rather do than talk to an ex (and I am sure you will agree):
1. Watch Roy Moore win an election
That would literally make me claw my eyes out. But worth it and I would rather witness this.
2. Go blind staring at a solar eclipse
Because stupid people do that...and talking to an ex is more stupid.
3. Fracture all of the fingers in my right (dominant) hand instead of just the one
It hurt...but also still better than conversing with an ex.
4. Willingly and soberly eat Taco Bell for every meal for the rest of my life
Diarrhea central is still preferable, am I right?
5. Have a groundhog day scenario where I'm stuck in the ER waiting room for the rest of my life
The ER is an awful, awful, awful place that is full of misery and (possibly) shame. So are exes. Don't talk to them.
6. Go to work with a gnarly hangover for a week straight
The spins, the nausea, the headache...all still preferable. Might even consider a month straight tbh...