At this point in our lives, most of us have experienced a breakup. The sad truth is, not all relationships last forever. However, there are certain things that should be done when you break up with someone as a means of trying to make peace with the other person, or at the very least minimizing the emotional fallout.
One of the best ways to ensure that a breakup goes smoothly is to give your former significant other a breakup kit immediately after you break up with them, fully equipped with all of the supplies that their fragile little heart will need in order to get over you. Breakup kits show that you are a kind, good-hearted person who really cares about the person you are giving the kit to, just not enough to continue dating them. Here are five things that every breakup kit should be sure to include.
1. Ice cream
This should be a no-brainer, but you would be surprised to discover just how many breakup kits do not include ice cream. Your former significant other will undoubtedly be making a trip to the store to buy some before they spend the next few weeks crying over every single memory of you as they pathetically scoop spoonful after spoonful of double chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream into their mouth, so you might as well provide it for them now and save them a trip.
2. Chocolate
You can never have too many sweets after a breakup, so chocolate is another essential element of every breakup kit. Everybody loves chocolate, and I would hope that your significant other does as well, otherwise why would you have dated them in the first place? After all, people who don't like chocolate definitely cannot be trusted. The kind of chocolate isn't as important, as long as it's something your poor former boyfriend or girlfriend can continue to stuff their face with as they cry.
3. A hand-written card
Nothing shows your true feelings better than a hand-written card, and this is especially important during a breakup because it gives you the chance to let the person know exactly why you broke up with them. Make sure to tell them that you still care about them and that you value the time that you two had together, and then make sure to include all of the things that are wrong with them so that they can try to fix them and then be a better version of themselves for their next relationship. Reading this may make them more upset at first, but they will be thankful in the long run.
4. A breakup playlist
When your former significant other is in his or her room crying hysterically, he or she will obviously need some music to listen to, so why not save them the trouble of finding a breakup playlist on Spotify and instead supply them with one that was hand-picked by you. Include all the breakup songs that you think are necessary, and that way your precious former significant other will be reminded of you every second that they listen to the playlist. What better way to get over a heartbreak then a constant reminder of the person that broke the heart in the first place?
5. A new SO
Since you have now caused this person to be single again, the logical thing to do is to include a brand new significant other to give to your old significant other as a means of replacing you. This will surely help to ensure a smooth breakup, because you will already have provided the next person for your former person to date, thus taking much of the blame off of you. By picking the next person, you can also ensure that the person you pick is not better than you, making it known that your ex's love life definitely went downhill after you two ended things.
Breakup kits just make sense in this day and age. Let's face it, breakups hurt, no matter which side of it that you're on. But, by providing a breakup kit, you ensure that things end in the best way possible. Maybe you two can even stay friends afterward, but probably not, because that never actually works out.