The new school year is starting soon, and that means college students across the country are moving in with new roommates. Even though most people have have already made living arrangements for the upcoming school year, college students, recent graduates, and young single people of all stripes usually end up living with several different roommates over the course of early adulthood. So how do you pick a roommate? The kind of compatibility it takes to be friends and the kind it takes to live together are two very different things. Here are some things to keep in mind when you're choosing your next roommate.

How long have you known each other?

You can be successful roommates with someone you’ve known for years, or someone you’ve met recently, but each is a gamble in its own way. If your potential roomie is someone you know well, think about how much time you usually spend with that person at once. Have you spent uninterrupted days together, just the two of you? Does spending many days in a row with this person sound appealing, or no? If your best friend is really bubbly and upbeat and you’re more mellow and low key, that combination might work well when you only see each other at work or school, but could get exhausting when you’re sharing a private space day in and day out. On the other hand, if you’re thinking about rooming with someone you don’t know well, how did you meet this person? What makes you think you’d be a good match? The person you live with isn’t something you want to decide at random.

How comfortable do you feel addressing conflict with this person?

There are fewer more effective ways ruin a relationship, whether that’s a budding friendship or a long-standing one, than to let small things that bother you go unsaid forever until your annoyance turns into a giant, raging ball of resentment that will inevitably blow up. It’s fine and normal for roommates to have minor conflicts, and when that happens you need to feel able to voice your opinions knowing that your roommates will listen. If for whatever reason you can’t picture yourself doing that with this person, you may want to reconsider. Getting along for a year or more by tolerating everything your roommate does that drives you crazy, while blissfully believing they’re not bothering you, is not a good living situation.

Most importantly, remember that you can say no.

It may seem rude to tell someone that you just can’t see living with them long-term. Be as nice about it as possible, obviously, but if you think you need to say yes to a roommate that you know you won’t click with to preserve a friendship, I guarantee you’re going to ruin it by trying to live together. Getting along and sharing your living space are two totally different animals.