As a college student, there are so many influences, opinions and pressures that it’s hard to be confident in our abilities and ourselves. We think that we are failures after not scoring a perfect score on a test, a loser if we don’t go out and party every weekend and lazy if we aren’t the most involved person on campus. While you may do some of those things, it doesn’t take away from you as a person, and sometimes we forget that when our world is based on numbers from scores and amount of clubs we are in and how many nights you go out. If you feel like an outsider or doubting your abilities or need some self-assurance when you don’t have much to give, here are some things to tell yourself to push through.
“I have my sh*t together."
Most of us don’t. Most of us are lost in trying to figure out what we want to do with our lives while putting ourselves in debt, trying to keep up all kinds of relationships and trying to get sleep. If you know me and are my friend, you know I don’t have my sh*t together. If I make my bed, then it’s a big deal. Nonetheless, tell yourself you have everything together. Fake it until you make it. If you don’t believe you have the ability to be successful in any part of your life, you aren’t going to be able to.
“A number doesn’t define me.”
How we do in a class is determined by a number. How fit we are is determined by a number. Often our “popularity” is defined by a number of friends or a number of times we go out or how many romantic partners we have or have not had. Our daily lives are determined and defined by numbers all too often, and the qualities that make us who we are and the kind of people we are on the inside are shoved into the background. Things that can’t be quantified, like how nice you are or how you spend your time, whether volunteering or helping a friend, are often overshadowed when we define ourselves by test scores, grades, the cost of what we wear, etc. When people begin to define us by these things, we do it to ourselves. We must remember that even if you do bad on a test, it doesn’t make you a bad person, and if you do well, it doesn’t make you a good person. The relationships you have and the qualities you carry and how you treat people is who you are, not a number.
“I’m going to freak out right now, and that’s OK.”
You might be thinking this completely contradicts the first quote. Well, not really. You should tell yourself to be confident, that you have your sh*t together, that you’re going to make it. You should because you are going to make it through. You have to remind yourself that you are capable of the demands of college. However, that doesn’t mean it’s easy. If it’s easy, you aren’t doing college right. I don’t know who thought 18 years of age was the point where we could easily take on all the demands and stresses of independence. We can, but there are points where you are going to want to cry, and that’s OK. It seems so impossible to get good grades, be involved in extracurriculars, spend time with friends, have a job and maybe even sleep. You’re going to want to call your mom at 3 a.m. and tell her you want to go home. You should give yourself a good cry and a good freak out session. It’s important that after those moments, you breathe and tell yourself you can do it. Because you can.
