Let's be honest, every basic b*tch is one in the same, we all like the same stuff, wear the same stuff, do the same stuff... I think you get it. So, if you're basic and ya know it, read below.
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A/S/L? Cupid get lost!
Tinder, JDate, Plenty of Fish, OKCupid, Chemistry.com, Match, Zoosk — just a few of the names of big companies that promise to get you a date/potential partner. I’m not going to sit here and pretend like I haven’t tried all of these options, because I have. I haven’t been on a date in over a year and I haven’t actually dated anyone in almost two and a half years. Now, I won’t lie, I’m not the prettiest color in the box, but aside from that, I do have plenty to offer. I have a brain that I use on the daily, I’m pretty freaking smart and I’ve been told that I’m funny in the form of my total sarcasm. But alas, this isn’t a personals ad hoping that someone out there will see this and start sending me emails (but hey, if that happens, that’s OK too).
Dating for Millennials these days is most likely the worst that it’s been. Everything has come down to swiping left and swiping right and just glancing over their profile and making your determination on if you’re hot enough or not. It’s not like how it used to be for our parents or for people our age in, let’s say, the 1990s. It’s not like we can really go out to the nearest bar and start using pickup lines on every stranger that we meet. Everything now is done through the safety of the internet. But the bad part about this, is that you can tell someone that you’re an Abercrombie model but in reality you’re a 200 lb hairy dude, sitting in his boxers in his mother’s basement playing “Dungeons and Dragons.” You can sit there and tell me that you’re 33 and a financial analyst on Wall Street working for a big profile bank, but you’re really 55 and growing plants and tending to your garden outside your kitchen window. I’m the type of person that loves to sit down at Starbucks and enjoy a nice caramel macchiato (four splendas, no whipped please) and talk about everything and nothing. Long walks on the beach on nice summer nights and hanging out on a hammock on summer weekends with BBQs and fire pits, concerts where I can dress up or dress down and completely lose myself with the person that I want to share my time with, is my thing. Someone that will support and love me for my Disney obsession, and my drive to finish school and graduate as a nurse would be ideal. Someone who won’t mind long late nights sitting at the computer finishing an assignment or studying for a test coming up and trying to memorize med math would be lovely. I’m the type of person that craves the human touch, even if it’s just as simple as hand holding. Just having someone be there to support you and cheer you on and to share your days with, is what I’m searching for.
But to be totally and completely honest, I’m really tired of the dating scene these days. I’m tired of being judged for the way I look or the way I don’t look. I’ve been called “unattractive” and have quips made about my weight more than the amount of fingers that I have, I’ve been on dates from hell (literally) more times than I can count and I’ve been “ghosted” by guys more than I care to remember. In fact, the words I’ve used over and over is “I’m done”. While most (if not all) of my friends are engaged or married, I’m sitting over here knitting scarves (not literally but you get the picture). Do I feel left behind? Of course. I also chalk it up to my age as well. I’m 28 and still furthering my education. Do I feel most guys don’t want a 28-year-old student as a girlfriend? Yeah, I do actually, but my education is the most important thing in my life at this point.
I’m also on another dating site (that will remain anonymous) and in the last month, I’ve exchanged numbers with a guy who lives not too far from me. We’ve spoken almost regularly but haven’t met up yet. We lost touch for a few weeks and he ended up texting me the other day, and we got to talking again. He asked me if I’ve been dating anyone, to which I laughed and said no and that I’ve basically given up at this point, to which he replied, “No, I’m sure you haven’t and if so, don’t. All those things you mentioned, there’s no better feeling then having someone in your corner or experience life with. Don’t look at it as a negative” to which I replied that he’s right. I can’t look at it as a negative, but with my track record and considering what I’ve been through, I can’t help but look at it as a negative and every time someone tells me that the right person will eventually come along and it’ll happen when I least expect it, to which I say, screw that. I had what I thought was my Prince Charming and what I thought would have been my happy ending, and that was all ripped out from under me. It’s turned me hard and cold and cynical toward love. Who can blame me at this point?
Somewhere, my Prince Charming is out there, but he’s either riding a turtle or his GPS is broken. It’s OK, I’ll keep waiting.
Why our favorite Gossip Girl couple should not be our relationship goals.
I love Gossip Girl as much as the next person. There is nothing better after a long day than curling up in bed and submerging myself in everything that the Upper East Side and all of it's drama is. Over the course of the seasons I fell in love with the characters, particularly Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass. When I first watched the show I idealized the two of them. They were my relationship "goals" and I wanted everything that they had. However, as I went back and watched the show again some time later, after I had had a few years of experience with relationships, I realized that they are most definitely NOT my relationship goals. And they should not be anybody's.
According to Healthy Place, emotional abuse is defined as "any act including confinement, isolation, verbal assault, humiliation, intimidation, infantilization, or any other treatment which may diminish the sense of identity, dignity, and self-worth." Well, Gossip Girl, and Chuck and Blair's relationship is full of emotional abuse. Their relationship on the outside may seem like something out of a fairytale, full of expensive clothes and Chuck showering Blair in jewelry and flowers. But Chuck Bass is no knight in shining armor, and Blair Waldorf is no mistress in distress.
From the very beginning their relationship has been unconventional. Blair cheated on her boyfriend by having sex with Chuck in the back of a limo, and then lied about it for quite some time. When Chuck and Blair first started dating, she forgave him for something simply because he traveled to Europe and bought her a few things. They started dating during the summer, and their relationship consisted of a game where Chuck would seduce women and get them in private and tease them, before Blair would show up and scold the particular female for messing with a person in a relationship. During the entire course of their relationship, both on and off, Chuck consistently treated Blair like an object and threw her around. How could anyone forget when he traded her for a hotel? He ditched her for other women even when he knew how he felt about her, and the two of them threw around the words "I love you" and used them as bait. Both of them played games, lied to each other, went behind their backs to do things, and teased each other about their feelings.
Behind all of the cute dates and supporting each other no matter what, Chuck and Blair's relationship is not something that should be looked up to. They may have gotten their happily every after in the very end and gotten married, but the first five seasons of Gossip Girl proved to us that the odds were against them from the beginning and if they had enough common sense, they never would have forgiven each other for some of the things that they did. Their relationship teaches us that it's okay to lie to our significant other and give up easily. They put feelings and games before what is right, and used sex as something to hurt each other, as well as other people. They got into relationships before they were over the other and were so inconsistent with their relationship's ups and downs. They showed us that all can be forgiven with an expensive necklace and a few words.
Their relationship contributes a great deal to Gossip Girl and the show would not have been what it is without Chuck and Blair, but they should not be your goals in life. What their relationship SHOULD teach us, is to always know your self worth and never settle for less than what you deserve. Think carefully before getting into relationships, and never use a show as a basis for what your relationship should look like.
Its finally here
The long-awaited summer break is finally here!
However, just like every other aspect of life, it comes with bittersweet pros and cons. The pros: it’s summer! The cons: no more formals, football games, Saturday nights in Alex Box, spring bus trips, fun nights at Bogies while you should have been studying for that final, late night talks in the den. The list goes on and on. Mainly, summer means one thing for all of us ladies: a full three months without our sisters.
Now, the panic sets in. Who’s going to loan me that cute Anthro necklace when I go on a date? Who’s going to be my partner in crime at
the empty Tigerland? Who’s going to make that weekly trip to Caliente
with me just to nomm our little hearts out on queso and margs? Who’s going to
eat with me, period?
Unfortunately for most of us, that answer doesn’t include our prized 300 plus sorority sisters. The majority of them have left our haven on West Lakeshore Drive for their own hometowns, summer programs, mission trips and those competitive internships. For those of us remaining in Baton Rouge for various reasons, the summer begins to lack its initial shimmer and shine. However, I propose a challenge to each of you. Below are five primary ways for each of us to overcome Akon’s “Lonely” syndrome. Let’s be real, none of us want to be, oh, so lonely for the duration of this opportunity-filled summer!
1. Focus on you. You’ve been pushed to the limit way too many times with your hectic schedule. You go from one bus trip to another spring formal, back to work then to workout, take a break to study for your strenuous 18 hour course load, spend quality time with your Big and Little, all while fitting in family and all the exec meetings for Panhellenic. Sound about right? Well, it sounds like this summer is just what you need. Start detoxing from your Lilly or Erin Condren planner ASAP!
2. Make Pinterest a reality. We all do it: pin, pin, pin and never follow-up. Take the summer to actually accomplish some of those pins, whether it’s maintaining a healthy lifestyle and doing those eight moves to a better tush workout or reading that summer book list you totally forgot about. Take some time and go through some of those DIY projects for your apartment or for a future Little. Let your creativity flow because once the fall is here, you’ll never have the time!
3. Netflix binge! Break the hiatus. All hail the creator of Netflix. Am I right?! Use this summer to catch up on the recently added season three of Scandal, House Of Cards, Breaking Bad, or whatever other show is on your list that you continuously put on the back burner for One Tree Hill reruns. Although the Scott brothers are essentially my fave heart throbs, they have nothing on Kerry Washington!
4. Go the extra mile. Don’t get your panties in a wad. I don’t mean running. However, if running is your thing then by all means hike up that mileage. I mean traveling those miles to visit your sisters or take the spontaneous road trips you’ve always wanted to go on. Head to the beach on a whim. Book a ticket for your favorite band in concert and travel to see them. While many of us are already ahead of the game and at Hangout Fest, the rest of us need to put our Google caps on and begin planning for those exciting long weekends ahead of us!
5. Prepare for recruitment. We all know you love it. If all else fails, you know you can always get a head start on recruitment preparation. You can never, ever ever have enough. Start shopping for those specified outfits, talking to your mirror or spark up your excitement for the best week of the year: recruitment workshop!
Although a summer minus your sisters may not be ideal, there are ways to get through it. Start that half-marathon training plan you always wanted to try out at the Lakes, spend quality time shopping with Mom, follow through with all the pins or just settle for that Netflix binge with a bag of dark chocolate and your bed that you haven’t seen in weeks or months. Whatever you decide to do, it will be a summer for the books!
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez have been a Hollywood power couple for some time now, but the pair only wed just a few days ago in Las Vegas, a city that Affleck knows all too well.
But while we think we know the pair inside out, here are some facts that may surprise you about Hollywood’s hottest newlyweds…
J-Lo is 4-2 up when it comes to marriages
Family of Jennifer Lopez may have been a little tired heading over to Las Vegas for this wedding, as it’s the popstars fourth, following three previous divorces.
For Affleck, it was wedding number two after spending 13 years married to Jennifer Garner.
Affleck and Lopez had dated previously, in the early 2000s, but reignited that relationship in early 2021 and announced their engagement in April of this year.
Ben Affleck loves a gamble
For Affleck, Las Vegas is the perfect city for him to get married, as he loves a casino. One of his favourite pastimes is enjoying casino games, including the likes of blackjack and poker, and he’s often found in Vegas enjoying tournaments alongside his A-list pals, such as Toby Maguire and Leonardo DiCaprio.
In fact, he’s picked up in excess of $350,000 in tournaments, and we’re sure plenty more just on the casino floors and online down the years. Watch for his poker face J-Lo!
J-Lo is keen to leave the USA behind
Affleck may have to get his kicks from the casino tables elsewhere in future, with perhaps Macau or Monte Carlo a possibility for a new life, as J-Lo revealed just a few years ago she’d like to leave the glitz and glam of LA behind.
Speaking to Vanity Fair she claimed she wanted to "find another life where it’s a little bit more simple and organic and where I get to ride a bike, and buy bread, and put it in my basket."
To be fair, it does sound bliss. She claimed Italy or Bali would be her top picks. We certainly wouldn’t say no.
Ben Affleck is the subject of a J-Lo song
The pair dated during a period where J-Lo was releasing hit after hit and during their first relationship she wrote a song called Dear Ben, about her film star boyfriend.
The pair had some highs and lows during their time together at the turn of the millennium, with the lyrics reading:
“I think God made you for me, a mix of passionate fidelities. I write this song to let you know that you will always be my lust, my love, my man, my child, my friend, and my king.”
It’s nice to think after all these years it has come true.
J-Lo inspired Google
The pop queen has inspired many to take up music. She’s not only that but a style icon. However, did you also know she even inspired Google. That’s right, Google!
Her famous Versace dress was the reason why Google Image Search became a thing, with Eric Schmidt, the executive chairman of the company, saw that people were searching for the dress and wanting more than just text. It inspired them to create an image section of the site. And let’s face it, they’ve never looked back.
“It’s sad but sometimes when two people come to the end of the road they have to take different paths”
It started way back in 2014, the very first time I saw you, you had long blonde hair and bright green eyes and a smile that was infectious. You where holding my favorite cousins hand, you didn’t say much at first and neither did I.
But as the night went on and we opened up more to each other, I think we knew from that moment on we would become good friends. I just don’t think we knew that our friendship would blossom into a best friend kind of level.
For eight long years I called you my best friend. Some of my deepest thoughts and darkest secrets where yours to hold and probably still are.
The endless summer nights we spent drinking and swimming and laughing, or the coon hunts, Walmart and Starbucks trips.
Remember that time you almost killed me? That’s how you know our friendship was real, or that time you left me in the house when the alarm went off? I’ll never forget those moments.
Remember how we knew we would one day be pregnant together? Then it actually happened?
Remember our weddings? Or our trips?
Those things I’ll never forget and I hope you won’t either.
It’s sad but sometimes when two people come to the end of the road they have to take different paths. And at this moment in time our paths are going different ways. And it took me a while to understand this but now I do.
I hope one day our paths will bring us back together but for now just know I miss you and I love you. I will forever hold our 8 years of sisterhood close to my heart and look back at our many memories we share together.
If you ever need me I’ll be here silently loving you from a distance watching your life through photographs. And every time I hear shadow by Kesha I’ll smile and think of you.
I love you and no matter what I’ll always be here if you ever shall need me.
Forever and always,
1. Brittany Morgan, National Writer's Society
2. Radhi, SUNY Stony Brook
3. Kristen Haddox, Penn State University
4. Jennifer Kustanovich, SUNY Stony Brook
5. Clare Regelbrugge, University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign