I’ve been working as either an assistant stage manager or a stage manager since I was a sophomore in college. Lately, I’m noticing that I run into some of the same inner thoughts and tendencies in each show that I’m involved in. They’ve been on my mind so much that I decided to compile them all into a list in hopes that maybe some other assistant stage managers out there feel the same. Here are eight things an assistant stage manager wish you knew.

1) I May Not Trust Easily...Initially

I’m not saying that I’m going to carry the entire show on my shoulders and do everything, I’m just saying that there are a few instances in which I feel like I can’t properly explain what needs to be done. Therefore, I often take more responsibility than I feel like I need, but I’m learning.

2) Being Nice Goes a Long Way

This applies to crew members and cast members alike. I will go the extra mile for you if you’re appreciative, which luckily everyone I’ve come in contact with has been.

3) There’s a Reason Why I Don’t Ask For Help

Consider a bad relationship in which you don’t want to make the same mistakes in a future relationship. That’s kind of how I feel sometimes when being an ASM. I appreciate every ounce of help I get, however, I won’t outright ask for it, and that’s okay sometimes.

4) Sometimes It May Seem Like I’m Giving You “Busy Work”

I’m actually helping you by doing these seemingly unnecessary tasks early in the week so we don’t have to cram on the last show of the week and stay later than usual. You’re welcome.

5) Irritation and Focus Almost Looks the Same

At least on me it does. Sometimes I get asked if I’m okay or if I’m mad when I’m focused on something. I’m actually perfectly okay, just trying to figure out the best way to navigate a task.

6) I Might Ask You to Repeat Yourself

More than once sometimes. It might be because I’m on headset. It might be because I truly didn’t hear you. However, in most cases, it’s because I’ve got 20 other things in my head that need to be done.

7) I’m Here For You

I feel like this is forgotten sometimes. I will help you with whatever you need, mentally or physically, on or offstage. It’s what an assistant stage manager is for.

8) I Thoroughly Enjoy My Job

I look tired 99% of the time that you see me, but it is so worth it because I’m actually doing what I want to do. Plus, there’s enough Dunkin’ in the world to keep me going.