The Thing About Loss
Life Stages

The Thing About Loss

It's not easy.

570

Death is inevitable. We've all heard it, we all know it; it just is. It's one of the many facets of life that people like to avoid talking about until it's staring you straight in the face. Sometimes the knowledge of its existence comes to you when you're seven and your first goldfish dies or you squash an ant with your finger. Other times it may be through losing someone close to you; a mother, a father, a close friend.

I don't really remember when I first learned what death was. My experience with death was indirect up until now; a friend's grandmother and a teacher's spouse had passed away when I was in high school. There was always a middle man separating me from true grief. But I can remember when death first affected me personally.

It was just this week when I received a call that one of my old friends whom I had acted in musicals with for years, Ceara, had died suddenly of an undiagnosed medical condition. If you were never in drama club as a kid, then you won't know how easy it is to get close to a person when you're stuck in a musty theater for hours on end singing show tunes. This passionate, bright girl who was so full of life had introduced me to one of my favorite musicals, Hamilton, and had been there through some of the best memories of my high school experience; needless to say, I was devastated and heartbroken.

While sadness and grief lingered with me, so did confusion and anger. I constantly was asking why. Why her? Why now? How is it that, in the same day, I had both spoken to her and learned about her passing? How could this girl, so ready and so eager to tackle the world, have it all taken away when it was right in her grasp, without her even knowing it was coming?

Among all the Hamilton lyrics theater kids belt out during spontaneous bursts of song, there is one that always has stuck out to me:

"You could have done so much more if you only had time."

There's this ache that I feel when I think of all Ceara could have accomplished if she had more time. But that's the thing with death, isn't it? It leaves dreams unrealized, words unsaid. It doesn't leave us with an explanation; it leaves us with an unfinished sentence. I would have loved to see Ceara succeed and follow her dreams like she always said she would, without fail. But I can't focus on the ifs. I can't focus on trying to find an explanation.

What I can focus on is what she did do with the short time she had on this earth.

She took every opportunity she had and ran with it. She brushed past haters and doubters. She auditioned for every musical she could find, and when she wasn't cast in it, she'd find another one. She had this burning passion for life from the moment I met her.

Most importantly, she lived every day to the fullest. She didn't focus on where her sentence would end; she focused on how she would write it.

Death is a part of life. But it's how we live our lives-how we cherish each day, how we seize every moment-that makes death less about mourning the life that has ended and more about celebrating the life that existed.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Lifestyle

15 Black-Owned Haircare Brands That Cater As Much To Inclusivity As They Do To Your Locks

Championing Black entrepreneurs who make some of our hair favorites.

The haircare industry is vast. With the rise of social media came hundreds of thousands of empowered, niche brands. Single entrepreneurs came out of the woodwork with hair brands that now, years later, have dedicated cult followings.

Of those multitudes of brands, few cater to all hair types, most made without regard for curly or coily hair. These brands, however, are different.

Keep Reading... Show less

Minorities are consistently under-represented in our day-to-day lives, notably in the world of fashion. It's likely you're looking for a way to support black artists. Whether that's the case or you're just a fashion-lover in general, these brands aren't just some of the best black-owned fashion brands — they're some of the most innovative brands of our time, period.

From luxury staples to fun accessories and loungewear, these brands aren't just stunning names you should definitely be following on Instagram, each honors the founder's roots in unique ways with the power of storytelling through artistic expression that manifests in pieces we can't wait to wear.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

10 Home Items You Need For Stress Relief, On The Days You 'Literally Cannot'

Fill your home with peaceful, calming coping mechanisms.

I'd like to think that 2020 is teaching us a lot. Or will teach us a lot. Or will be a story we tell at parties one day. Ultimately, this year has been — and is probably going to continue to be — a bit of a mess.

At the beginning of the year, Australia was on fire and we mourned the death of Kobe Bryant. Then, coronavirus (COVID-19) took our spring and shut us in our homes, inciting panic over public health and sparking political upheaval at every decision made by local and federal officials alike. Now, a week after George Floyd's death at the hands of Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin, a nationwide conversation is reignited with protests regarding racial injustice in the United States. There is an enormous amount of tension, hurt, and change that is upon the American people.

Keep Reading... Show less

No matter who you are (an introvert, person of color, member of the LGBTQ+ community, Scorpio, TikToker, you name it), we want to hear what dating in America is like for you and the thoughts you have while working through the talking stage, first dates, navigating love, working through dating problems, etc.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

30 Black-Owned Skincare Brands Every Beauty-Lover Should Know About In 2020

They're not changing the game — they're making a new one.

Skin is something most beauty-lovers obsess over from our early teens, whether our aim is to be glowier, softer, dewier, or poreless, most of us are consistently tracking a new skincare goal. No matter how many products we try, we'll likely forage on with the goal of IRL Photoshopped skin, no matter how many dollars go to them.

The black-founded skincare brands below are the brainchildren of extreme dedication and resilience within the privileged world of beauty. Born out of resilient entrepreneurs overcoming circumstance in a world that does not favor business people of color, these brands have loyal cult followings, and with good reason.

Keep Reading... Show less

A huge part of being in a relationship is communication and, well, part of communication is listening. So, why not have a little fun with your partner and see just how well they know you?

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

7 Ways You Can Safely Attend A Protest In The Middle Of A Pandemic

Wear a mask, but speak up.

It seems like coronavirus (COVID-19) has been around forever now. Life before masks and with public sporting events is a distant memory, hoping to make a comeback sometime this year. We've all had to make some sort of life changes to abide by this pandemic's rules. But that doesn't mean everything has stopped. On May 25, George Floyd died at the hands of Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin, sparking a cry for justice and racial equality across the nation.

For the last week, protests have taken place in major cities like New York City, LA, DC, Chicago, Phoenix, Portland, Dallas, and Floyd's hometown of Minneapolis. Many of the cities experiencing protests have begun phased reopening, while others (specifically New York City and LA) have yet to begin phase one of post-coronavirus reopening.

As COVID-19 is hardly in our rearview mirror, there are extra precautions protestors can take as they advocate for justice.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Helpful, Effective Mental Health Resources Specifically For The Black Community

These organizations are qualified, caring, and acknowledging the mental trauma individuals are experiencing.

On May 25, George Floyd died after being pinned to the ground by a Minneapolis police officer. In the last week, protests have sprung up across the nation, demanding justice for Floyd and accountability for police brutality. Social media has also seen widespread conversation regarding Floyd's death, Black Lives Matter, and racism in the United States. Today is #BlackoutTuesday, where many are sharing a single black square to represent unity and support for Black voices.

In light of the heavy climate that our country is facing, it is a safe assumption that many individuals' mental health may be suffering. We wanted to highlight mental health resources and organizations that are Black-owned and prepared to assist in whatever you're going through.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments