There’s no denying that struggle is an inalienable component of existence.
The endless supply of charmed lives on social media portray a false reality. The achievements and accolades one can pile onto paper reflect impressive application, but give no real insight to each individual’s daily life and struggle.
From an outsider’s perspective, the majority of our society is characterized by happy, successful people. And while this may hold fragments of truth, it’s far from disclosing the entirety.
I have friends going through intensive surgery, serious injury, irreparable loss, untold financial burden, severe mental health disorders, relationship turmoil, familial disrepair and inhumane amounts of stress. These same friends are also bright scholars at an accredited university who compete in division one athletics and hold jobs and internships outside of school.
Only the positive aspects are shared with society, defining their life in an inaccurate, one-dimensional manner. We’re conditioned to label everything, to want to put people in clean categorizations that sum up their identity.
He’s the one with two jobs, working to support himself and his family. She’s the injured one, the one with the crutches and the boot. He’s the model student, always attentive, on time, and proficient on the exams. She’s the gifted runner—only a matter of time before she signs professionally.
Instinctively, our minds separate these descriptions into four different individuals. Moreover, upon closer inspection, the statements seem contradictory—a single person cannot seem to satisfy such polarizing classifications. Can they?
Drawn from the experiences of real people in my life, I can confidently answer they can. The guy who works two jobs to help his mom out still makes time for schoolwork and doubles as an exemplary scholar. The broken girl was once the one everyone watched with envy and admiration as she raced down the track.
Viewing a person’s life from one side, or even one moment in time, rarely paints a telling representation of their reality. There’s always more to one than meets the eye, always another layer of complexity beyond the surface-level impression.
This is what makes the inclination to label people inherently flawed; you’ll never encounter an individual simple enough to define with a few well-chosen words. Pages upon pages of words would be necessary in an attempt to fully encapsulate the intricacies of an individual. And, even then, one would inevitably come up short.
Language is the best purveyor of information, but incapable of conveying felt thought. It will always fail to invoke the same magnitude of emotion brought upon by any experience. No matter how many times I write I am sad, you will never feel the throb in my chest as yet another hole riddles my heart, never feel the tightening of my throat as I fight against the tide of oncoming sobs, never feel the ache in the core of my being as another reminder of the past resurfaces.
The only way you’ll interpret that statement is analytically—your mind will compel you to categorize me as a sad person, and you’ll feel sympathy and pity and care and all the other emotions that come with comforting distress, but the understanding will cease there. The rest of the facets of my character will be undiscovered and foreign—just as my sadness will be to the peers in my classes who only see me as driven and studious.
We go through most of our lives misunderstood. How can one ever expect to grasp the gamut of attributes constituting the identity of every acquaintance? It’s unrealistic, from the lack of time to the sacrifice of privacy it would require. Only your closest relationships have the potential to truly understand you—beyond that, it’s a sea of misinterpretations and false assumptions. The key is to never let yourself believe you have someone figured out. No one’s life is ever as faultless as its public appearance; conversely, no one’s life is ever as flawed as a few mistakes would construe it to be. There’s always another accomplishment to achieve, always another struggle to endure. Existence is complex—reflecting those