Now that Christmas, Hannukah, and Kwanzaa have drawn to a close, the New Year rears its head. The New Year symbolizes hope, change, and almost promises better days for those who have fallen victim to the year before.
My title talks about the Art of Moving On, however, there is no art to moving on because you just do. Whether you are moving on from a relationship with good memories, a friendship that you thought would last forever, grief, or transitions from high school to college or college to adulthood; moving on is hard.
Moving on symbolizes change and acceptance that things are different whether these differences are initially good or bad. However, acceptance isn't easy, because it means accepting and remembering the good memories of your relationship but allowing for them to be just that, "memories;" accepting that your friend isn't your friend anymore and you have no place in their life and they have no place in yours; accepting the loss of someone or something you loved, but remembering that it's always with you; and finally accepting the transition to a new life, which can mean letting go of the old and allowing for a new normal. All of these circumstances have proven time and time again to be difficult.
Are there set guidelines to move on?
No.
Why?
Because everyone moves on differently and the battle to move on is stronger for some. But, the one thing I can give you is how to know you've moved on and advice from someone who has been forced to move on.
I believe you know you've moved on when the memories, the person, or the thing itself doesn't bother you anymore, but you can look at it and still smile at the good times. Smiling at the good times with the person or thing that is no longer in your life is one of the hardest parts, but once you can do that, you're on your way.
Recently, I've had to move on from a friendship and it's been really hard to do, however, I think there is power in acknowledging that it's sad to have to move on and to realize that moving on is necessary.
If you're in the place where you can't see the light at the end of the moving on tunnel and you can't imagine smiling at the good times because the sadness is all you can think about, I want you to know that this won't last forever. Sometimes it will take a week or month or years, but it will happen.
There is no art to moving on, but there is freedom in it once you do so.