Therapy Is One Of The Best Things I've Done For Myself Because I Know Myself Better

Therapy Is One Of The Best Things I've Done For Myself Because I Know Myself Better

It was hard at first, but I am glad I kept going.

I started seeing a therapist almost three years ago. At that time I was ashamed to tell anyone because seeing a therapist comes with the idea that you have to have something wrong with you. You have to be crazy or you have had to lose your ability to function as a normal human being to see a therapist. But now, three years and three therapists later, I strongly believe everyone should see a therapist.

I have been told, many many times, by a few people that they have tried to see a therapist and that it didn't work out. That they did not feel comfortable, that it wasn't for them, or that they cannot open up. It doesn't always work out the first time you go, especially when the therapist is unfit for you or vice versa, and you are going in with the mindset that you can be or need to be "fixed". My first time seeing a therapist was an absolute joke. I left wondering, "why the hell did I even go?" She was completely unfit for me. She didn't take anything I said seriously, she even made me question if I actually struggled with anything. So a friend of mine recommended I see her therapist, who was also unfit for me. And now, I have been seeing a therapist, who is a man, for a little over two years. The idea of seeing a therapist that is a man is the same "no" your gynecologist is a man. But experiencing them both, I prefer a man. So, I saw it like possibly having a male gynecologist - scary, unsympathetic, and incapable of relating to me in any way. But I was completely wrong.

We already have learned to vent to those around us. We seek advice and comfort from those closest to us and those we assume know us best. We look for others to make decisions for us or to tell us what we should and should not do. We already subconsciously "see" a therapist, but in this case, our friends and family know our personal lives. This causes many problems with relationships. Sometimes when you vent to someone that cares about you or that you trust, their bias opinion about you and what you have been through can seem unfair to you. Understand your friends and family want what is best for you, but they will allow their opinions to come before helpful advice.

And before you see a therapist, you need to keep in mind that it isn't their job to give you advice. That is one thing I struggled with for the first year is understanding that I am not going in there for advice, I am going in their for guidance. That is what a therapist is there for, guidance. To ask you what you think is right and wrong and to show you in ways that you have progressed or regressed. Things your friends and family cannot do for you.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love venting to my friends and family. I love that there are people that I am close to that have been where I am or understand what I am going through, but no matter how much comfort in that I try to look for, nothing compares than sitting in a room with my therapist for an hour and talking about what has been going on in my life since the last session. There is nothing I look forward to more, as sad as that is.

My therapist knows what I need him to know and sometimes I withhold things I shouldn't, but he doesn't ask anything extra of me. When I tell him that I kept something from him he doesn't react in any kind of way that makes me feel like a bad person. I can sit in front of him and cry for a whole hour and not feel judged. Not that I feel judged by my friends, but I feel comfortable. Comfortable that someone is listening to me and not expecting anything else from me. Not only that, but I trust him. Besides it being unethical if he shared my information with anyone outside of his practice, I trust him as an individual. I trust that my information isn't going anywhere and I am not being looked at any differently when telling him anything that is going on.

Although your therapist isn't your friend or doesn't need to be your friend, they are needed. They aren't there to pick sides or give you advice. They aren't there to tell you what to do and they're not there to fix you or your problems. They are simply there to guide you. It is easily one of the best things I have done for myself.

I have something to look forward to and someone I know I can talk to about any and everything. He doesn't make me feel small, he doesn't instill worry in my mind that I am wrong or silly to be upset, and he doesn't make me feel bad about the things I have done. He helps me stay rational when I am being irrational. And although I don't believe that you have to be struggling with anything to see a therapist, I think everyone would benefit from seeing one.

Cover Image Credit: Naomi Hebert

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Dear Senator Walsh, I Can't Wait For The Day That A Nurse Saves Your Life

And I hope you know that when it is your time, you will receive the best care. You will receive respect and a smile. You will receive empathy and compassion because that's what we do and that is why we are the most trusted profession.


Dear Senator Walsh,

I can't even fathom how many letters you've read like this in the past 72 hours. You've insulted one of the largest, strongest and most emotion-filled professions.. you're bound to get a lot of feedback. And as nurses, we're taught that when something makes us mad, to let that anger fuel us to make a difference and that's what we're doing.

I am not even a nurse. I'm just a nursing student. I have been around and I've seen my fair share of sore legs and clinical days where you don't even use the bathroom, but I am still not even a nurse yet. Three years in, though, and I feel as if I've given my entire life and heart to this profession. My heart absolutely breaks for the men and women who are real nurses as they had to wake up the next morning after hearing your comments, put on their scrubs and prepare for a 12-hour day (during which I promise you, they didn't play one card game).

I have spent the last three years of my life surrounded by nurses. I'm around them more than I'm around my own family, seriously. I have watched nurses pass more medications than you probably know exist. They know the side effects, dosages and complications like the back of their hand. I have watched them weep at the bedside of dying patients and cry as they deliver new lives into this world. I have watched them hang IV's, give bed baths, and spoon-feed patients who can't do it themselves. I've watched them find mistakes of doctors and literally save patient's lives. I have watched them run, and teach, and smile, and hug and care... oh boy, have I seen the compassion that exudes from every nurse that I've encountered. I've watched them during their long shifts. I've seen them forfeit their own breaks and lunches. I've seen them break and wonder what it's all for... but I've also seen them around their patients and remember why they do what they do. You know what I've never once seen them do? Play cards.

The best thing about our profession, Senator, is that we are forgiving. The internet might be blown up with pictures mocking your comments, but at the end of the day, we still would treat you with the same respect that we would give to anyone. That's what makes our profession so amazing. We would drop anything, for anyone, anytime, no matter what.

You did insult us. It does hurt to hear those comments because from the first day of nursing school we are reminded how the world has zero idea what we do every day. We get insulted and disrespected and little recognition for everything we do sometimes. But you know what? We still do it.

When it's your time, Senator, I promise that the nurse taking care of you will remember your comments. They'll remember the way they felt the day you publicly said that nurses "probably do get breaks. They probably play cards for a considerable amount of the day." The jokes will stop and it'll eventually die down, but we will still remember.

And I hope you know that when it is your time, you will receive the best care. You will receive respect and a smile. You will receive empathy and compassion because that's what we do and that is why we are the most trusted profession.

Please just remember that we cannot properly take care of people if we aren't even taken care of ourselves.

I sincerely pray that someday you learn all that nurses do and please know that during our breaks, we are chugging coffee, eating some sort of lunch, and re-tying our shoes... not playing cards.

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Dear Nancy Pelosi, 16-Year-Olds Should Not Be Able To Vote

Because I'm sure every sixteen year old wants to be rushing to the voting booth on their birthday instead of the BMV, anyways.


Recent politicians such as Nancy Pelosi have put the voting age on the political agenda in the past few weeks. In doing so, some are advocating for the voting age in the United States to be lowered from eighteen to sixteen- Here's why it is ludicrous.

According to a study done by "Circle" regarding voter turnout in the 2018 midterms, 31% of eligible people between the ages of 18 and 29 voted. Thus, nowhere near half of the eligible voters between 18 and 29 actually voted. To anyone who thinks the voting age should be lowered to sixteen, in relevance to the data, it is pointless. If the combination of people who can vote from the legal voting age of eighteen to eleven years later is solely 31%, it is doubtful that many sixteen-year-olds would exercise their right to vote. To go through such a tedious process of amending the Constitution to change the voting age by two years when the evidence doesn't support that many sixteen-year-olds would make use of the new change (assuming it would pass) to vote is idiotic.

The argument can be made that if someone can operate heavy machinery (I.e. drive a car) at sixteen, they should be able to vote. Just because a sixteen-year-old can (in most places) now drive a car and work at a job, does not mean that they should be able to vote. At the age of sixteen, many students have not had fundamental classes such as government or economics to fully understand the political world. Sadly, going into these classes there are students that had mere knowledge of simple political knowledge such as the number of branches of government. Well, there are people above the age of eighteen who are uneducated but they can still vote, so what does it matter if sixteen-year-olds don't know everything about politics and still vote? At least they're voting. Although this is true, it's highly doubtful that someone who is past the age of eighteen, is uninformed about politics, and has to work on election day will care that much to make it to the booths. In contrast, sixteen-year-olds may be excited since it's the first time they can vote, and likely don't have too much of a tight schedule on election day, so they still may vote. The United States does not need people to vote if their votes are going to be uneducated.

But there are some sixteen-year-olds who are educated on issues and want to vote, so that's unfair to them. Well, there are other ways to participate in government besides voting. If a sixteen-year-old feels passionate about something on the political agenda but can't vote, there are other ways of getting involved. They can canvas for politicians whom they agree with, or become active in the notorious "Get Out The Vote" campaign to increase registered voter participation or help register those who already aren't. Best yet, they can politically socialize their peers with political information so that when the time comes for all of them to be eighteen and vote, more eighteen-year-olds will be educated and likely to vote.

If you're a sixteen-year-old and feel hopeless, you're not. As the 2016 election cycle approached, I was seventeen and felt useless because I had no vote. Although voting is arguably one of the easiest ways to participate in politics, it's not the only one. Since the majority of the current young adult population don't exercise their right to vote, helping inform them of how to stay informed and why voting is important, in my eyes is as essential as voting.

Sorry, Speaker Pelosi and all the others who think the voting age should be lowered. I'd rather not have to pay a plethora of taxes in my later years because in 2020 sixteen-year-olds act like sheep and blindly vote for people like Bernie Sanders who support the free college.

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