The Voicemail I Never Left You

The Voicemail I Never Left You

Memories of you linger in the air like the scent of freshly made coffee. Of all friends, this had to happen to you and I.
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At the end of the tone, please record your message.

Hey I know we haven’t talked in a year, or is it two? I don’t even know anymore. I just wanted to call because, well, our favorite television show is ending. As stupid as that may sound, it has been making me reflect on what our friendship was. I don’t know why I decided to pick up the phone and share the inner workings of my mind with you, but I did.

We drove two towns over to get ice cream on an ordinary weekend in the spring two years ago; there was still a chill left in the air from the winter that had passed. Of all days to get a frozen treat this was not a prime choice. The trees throughout downtown were fairly bare, the air was still. Under a time constraint, you spoon fed me while I drove. To others, this day would seem insignificant but to me it’s one that I go back to often.

We once all made matching shirts commemorating our favorite t.v. characters from the show that’s now ending. You and I were the stars: two best friends that would die for each other. That shirt remains in my closet, untouched for the last year just like the photos that once hung on my walls. I put these memories away knowing that I am not strong enough to leave them behind. As this show comes to an end, I reflect on what was. You were my ride or die; the two characters showed the same amount of dedication to each other as we did. I couldn’t imagine life without you. My other half. My right hand. My best friend. And here I am, about two years later both missing and appreciating our time together as each other’s long lost siblings.

Memories of you linger in the air like the scent of freshly made coffee. Of all friends, this had to happen to you and I. On one end I think time got to us. Separated by a year and two different sets of goals. I no longer blame you. I no longer feel my eyes burn when I think back to those times. Saying that I’ve accepted it is a long shot but I’m coming to terms with it. I know that if I was in a moment of nostalgia and the chance arose, maybe I would say “Let’s try this again.” Deep down I know that I couldn’t do it; my trust towards you has been demolished like a sand castle swept up by the waves. Whenever I catch myself beginning to type that possibly rekindling message, I close my eyes and remember how it felt when you locked me out; I owe too much to myself to risk that happening again.

You were a chapter in my book that I am not ashamed of. I loved you more than I have loved most friends throughout my life. I accepted your olive branch; it meant more to me than you’ll ever know. If I wouldn’t have gotten that message I would still be sitting on your curbside waiting for you to let me back in. I may have had closure but that doesn’t heal all wounds. I finally feel myself moving on from what was; isn’t it ironic that the one who forced me into the unknown alone without a map gave me a compass to help find my way?

I hope you’re doing okay. I hope you’ve found your family, your ride or die, but just know it’ll never compare to the Alpha pack.

End of message, to delete this message press five.

Cover Image Credit: MCINTY REQUARTER HORSES

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Dear Mom, Now That I'm Older

A letter to the woman who made me the woman I am today.
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Dear Mom,

Now that I'm older, I definitely appreciate you a lot more than I did as a kid. I appreciate the little things, from the random text messages to constantly tagging me on Facebook in your "funny" photos and sending me pins of stuff I like on Pinterest. Now that I'm older, I can look back and realize that everything I am is all because of you. You've made me strong but realize it's okay to cry. You've shown me how a mother gives everything to her children to give them a better life than she had, even when she's left with nothing. And, most importantly you've taught me to never give up and without this, I would not be where I am today.

Mom, now that I'm older, I realize that you're the best friend I'm ever going to have. You cheer me on when I try new things and support me in deciding to be whatever person I want to be. Thank you for never telling me I can't do something and helping me figure out ways to be the best woman I can be. Your love for me is unconditional. They say true, unconditional love can only come from God, but mom, I think you're a pretty close second.

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Now that I'm older, I don't get to see you as much. But not seeing you as much just makes the times I do get to see you the absolute best, and I look forward to it every time. Now that I'm older, I'm not going to live at home. But, I promise to always come back because I know the door is always open. Your house is always going to be my home, and no other place is going to be the same.

Now that I'm older, I realize how much I miss you taking care of me. I miss you making me dinner, making sure I was doing well in school, and taking me to endless appointments. I miss you waking me up for school and then waking me up again because I didn't listen the first time.

But, Mom, now that I'm older, I can see all that you've done for me. I can look back and see how big of a brat I was but you still loved me (and let me live) anyways. I can understand why you did certain things and frankly, you're one bada** of a woman.

To have you as my mom and my best friend has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. So, Mom, now that I'm older, thank you, for everything.

Love,

Your Daughter

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Visiting Your Friends At Different Colleges Is Worth The Drive

Learning about the lives my friends are living at other schools is extremely interesting.

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When I went to college, many of my friends went to different schools. Some of us went to the same college, some went to other in-state schools and some even went out-of-state. If you are ever bored and are thinking about spending the weekend with your friend at their college, I recommend doing it!

As a student at the University of Florida, I already know the best places to eat, party and relax in Gainesville. During my time here, I have met so many new people and have experienced so many new things. But, sometimes I forget that my friends are living their own lives at different schools, as well.

When I went to visit one of my best friends at the University of Central Florida, it was neat to see how she matured as a person. She took me to all the cool bars, introduced me to all of her new friends and gave me a tour of campus. Getting to see how she has evolved so much was so fascinating.

Visiting my friends at Florida State University was a whole experience in itself. I had many friends go to this school. Each of them lives their own lives, some still hang out, and some are even roommates. The culture at each university is so much different than the culture at my school. It was fun to meet all of their new classmates and sorority sisters. Getting to know the people that spend every day with the friends that I used to spend every day with is something I love to do.

If you ever have a break from studying, get a little bored, or even just miss your friends, give them a call and ask to stay with them for the weekend! I promise you will learn so much more about them and how they are taking on their new phase of life.

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