The Voicemail I Never Left You

The Voicemail I Never Left You

Memories of you linger in the air like the scent of freshly made coffee. Of all friends, this had to happen to you and I.
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At the end of the tone, please record your message.

Hey I know we haven’t talked in a year, or is it two? I don’t even know anymore. I just wanted to call because, well, our favorite television show is ending. As stupid as that may sound, it has been making me reflect on what our friendship was. I don’t know why I decided to pick up the phone and share the inner workings of my mind with you, but I did.

We drove two towns over to get ice cream on an ordinary weekend in the spring two years ago; there was still a chill left in the air from the winter that had passed. Of all days to get a frozen treat this was not a prime choice. The trees throughout downtown were fairly bare, the air was still. Under a time constraint, you spoon fed me while I drove. To others, this day would seem insignificant but to me it’s one that I go back to often.

We once all made matching shirts commemorating our favorite t.v. characters from the show that’s now ending. You and I were the stars: two best friends that would die for each other. That shirt remains in my closet, untouched for the last year just like the photos that once hung on my walls. I put these memories away knowing that I am not strong enough to leave them behind. As this show comes to an end, I reflect on what was. You were my ride or die; the two characters showed the same amount of dedication to each other as we did. I couldn’t imagine life without you. My other half. My right hand. My best friend. And here I am, about two years later both missing and appreciating our time together as each other’s long lost siblings.

Memories of you linger in the air like the scent of freshly made coffee. Of all friends, this had to happen to you and I. On one end I think time got to us. Separated by a year and two different sets of goals. I no longer blame you. I no longer feel my eyes burn when I think back to those times. Saying that I’ve accepted it is a long shot but I’m coming to terms with it. I know that if I was in a moment of nostalgia and the chance arose, maybe I would say “Let’s try this again.” Deep down I know that I couldn’t do it; my trust towards you has been demolished like a sand castle swept up by the waves. Whenever I catch myself beginning to type that possibly rekindling message, I close my eyes and remember how it felt when you locked me out; I owe too much to myself to risk that happening again.

You were a chapter in my book that I am not ashamed of. I loved you more than I have loved most friends throughout my life. I accepted your olive branch; it meant more to me than you’ll ever know. If I wouldn’t have gotten that message I would still be sitting on your curbside waiting for you to let me back in. I may have had closure but that doesn’t heal all wounds. I finally feel myself moving on from what was; isn’t it ironic that the one who forced me into the unknown alone without a map gave me a compass to help find my way?

I hope you’re doing okay. I hope you’ve found your family, your ride or die, but just know it’ll never compare to the Alpha pack.

End of message, to delete this message press five.

Cover Image Credit: MCINTY REQUARTER HORSES

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21 Things You Say To Your Roommate If You Two Are Practically A Married Couple

Until I made this list, I didn't realize how absurdly close my roommate and I were. #sorrynotsorry
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1. "Can you turn the light off?"

2. "We probably shouldn't go out for dinner again...right?"

*complains about not having money* *spends $8 on Chipotle three times a week*

3. "I always pick where we go"

This is a fight you have with your roommate almost every day when you're roommate is as indecisive as mine.

4. "Do you have my keys?"

5. "Can you pick me up?"

6. "Is it hot in here?"

7. "Does this outfit look stupid?"

The answer is usually yes. No offense.

8. "Can you throw this out for me?"

9. "Can we get ice cream?"

10. "I need coffee"

This text is usually sent when you know your roomie is out running errands... errands you know are near a Starbucks.

11. "Can you tell me what happened?"

12. "Are you asleep?"

There have been times where I couldn't tell if you were asleep or dead... and I had to say this out loud to check if you were alive.

13. "Check your dm's."

*cracks up in the middle of nowhere* *catches a weird stare from your roomie across the room*

14. "Can you plug this in for me?"

15. "Can you pick a movie?"

Another instance where "I always pick" happens.

16. "Look at this girl's Instagram."

*chucks phone across the room at roommate*

17. "Can you call me?"

18. "Can we meet up?"

Separation anxiety is a real thing, people.

19. "Can you help me find my phone?"

*Tries to leave the house to do something* *loses phone* every. time.

20. "What should we do tonight?"

*tries to get ready to do something fun* *ends up staying in for another girls night*

21. "Why isn't everyone as great as us?"


Cover Image Credit: Juliarose Genuardi

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To The Friends Who Became My Family

Most of us didn't know each other but we felt this energy and connection that would connect us for life
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I've always felt like an outsider no matter where I've gone. Almost like I would never find my place in this world. The moment that I thought I'd found it, my world turned upside down, at the time I thought I'd never bounce back. I was so very wrong.

A few months later after going down that road, I was introduced to this amazing group of people who had come from so many different places and recently formed together. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, and when it comes to this moment in my life I know that it's true. These people have brought so much opportunity and positivity into my life. They've given me the drive to be this amazing person. I never knew where I belonged, I felt like a misfit toy, or the puzzle in the 100-piece box that doesn't fit, no matter which way you move it.

They made me feel like I could belong anywhere, with anyone.

They've given this new view of life that I've been lacking. A lot has to do with my own level of confidence, and they've truly helped build that.

After meeting them the world began to make sense again. I was able to find my way for the first time in years. I wouldn't be the person I am today without having them in my life. They've made me realize that in college I'm the guys' girl, and I love having all my guy friends. I would be completely lost without them. I was able to see all the good in the world that I was unable to see before. I know always see the most positive outlook on everything.

Now that I see the world in a new light, it seems that the world has seen me for who I truly am.

After coming together with these people I've met so many amazing people who I never thought I would meet in my life or be friends with. I've never been luckier in my life than the moment that they all walked into it. I felt like they saved me from a dark hole, and I have no idea how to thank them, other than writing an article to show my gratitude.

This one is for y'all, so thank you.

Thank you for being there when I need it, for having my back no matter what, and for pushing me. I didn't think that I could do or be half the person I am, but because of you, I am. I am myself for the first time in life, and I have no shame about who that is.

I miss you guys and wouldn't be able to survive college without you. I know that when we all venture away from each other and no longer live together we will make sure that once a year we come together. We try for once a month and have done such a good job at that, but when life gets busy I know that once a year will be enough because it will seem like no time has ever been spent apart.

To those reading this, if you find a group that makes you feel this way or even just a few people, don't ever let them go. Make the time to see each other and don't lose touch.

Life gets hard, but it without your people makes it so much harder.

I love my team, I love my squad. The moment that we first all "prayed" together I felt slightly ridiculous but then I realized that we all come from different places, and different backgrounds, but at that moment, we came together. Most of us didn't know each other but we felt this energy and connection that would connect us for life.

So here is what I want to say to you "I've always felt like an outsider, and I've had friends, a lot. I've even had friends that I love and couldn't live without, but you guys have become my family, you have become these people that I couldn't imagine living without. In such a short time you've become amazing human beings who I've seen grow and prosper throughout these friendships that each and every one of us has made. I wouldn't change the world for the moment we have, and the memories we all make.

You guys are my family, and I can't thank you enough for saving me because you truly have.

Cover Image Credit: Maddison Boys

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