To have a better understanding of the relationship, you must understand how we met and more importantly how we fell in love. I was a junior in high school and he was a sophomore switching into my finance class. Skipping all the boring details, he was assigned to the seat next to me and as he walked down the aisle to his seat I looked up and thought, “This kid is going to mean something to me. I don’t know what or how, but he is going to be important in some way.” To this day if you ask either of us what each other was wearing when we first saw each other we can describe the outfit down to the writing.

With that being said, here are excerpts from a book I never wanted to finish.

“To be embraced by his lips, wrapped in his arms, and touched by his hands was liberating. The sound of his voice, his bittersweet words, danced out of his mouth. If only he knew. If only I could tell him. As I lay upon his chest, his heartbeat sounding like a sweet melody paralyzing me. Our bodies intertwined. He’s about to say it. Thank God, I don’t have to say it first. A buzzer chirps ready to start the day.”

“Freezing in the middle of the night, I roll over to your side of the bed. Subconsciously trying to get closer to you to find your warmth. Disappointed when I find the lack of you but your scent outlines my sheets.”

“Last night I had a dream you said you loved me, but I couldn’t say it back. Did you mean it? Do you understand what that entails? It means even after you worked a double when I wake you up at 3 am from a panic attack you will talk it out with me and rub my back until I calm down. It means telling me that al-dente pasta is your favorite because I had a bad day and undercooked dinner. But the way you looked at me when we woke up, you knew. You knew I loved you too."

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His arms were the barrier keeping me sane for a while. But there comes a time where you have to survive for yourself and not living for someone else. I lost myself falling for him in the craziest, best friend kind of way a person dreams about.