To the 20-somethings who feel like they're not doing anything right,

I know what it feels like to have a mini (or major) panic attack at least once a day because I'm not sure if I'm on the correct path towards this annoying thing called "adulthood." We are all in that weird and awkward middle -- even though we are technically adults. I know that sometimes becoming an adult feels like a joke, because how are we supposed to pay our own bills and figure out what we want to do with our lives when we think we don't have it all together?

Sometimes, we just feel like we're in way over our heads. I know I do, and I do all the time.

So I'm here to tell you that there is no "right way", and every day is just one big navigation, even when we're out of our 20s. Our 20s are the pivotal years in which we make the most navigation, and that's okay. As a 20-something, here are some things I overanalyze.

1. Money (paying bills, making purchases, etc.)

We're all bad with our money, let's be real. If there is one thing that I've personally been worrying about lately, it would be money. Now, this is a new kind of stress. I used to not care about bills, paying rent, all of those sorts of things, not until this year when I moved out of the dorms and into a duplex. The reality has been catching up with me, and it's scary. And I can't be the first to admit that I "treat myself" more than I should. Soon after, I am sent into this spiral of dread and guilt, as I fear I will end up homeless and on the streets, a starving artist (writer for me) or something, completely unhappy and in debt for the rest of my life (thank you, college.) Sometimes I think I'm not "doing it right" because I spend my money on clothes or something, and too many Culver's stops. I read these articles about college kids who are saving money, about how they're going to travel the world and be happy -- and here I am, spending money left and right like it's going out of style. And I'm scared. Alright, maybe I'm over exaggerating just a little bit -- I don't spend money like crazy, but I could be doing better with not spending it. Is it normal to feel like you're going to be homeless and living on a bench? Is it normal to worry about suffering through debt the rest of your life? Yeah, it is. But I guess my point is, it's not the end of the world. Hopefully I will learn from this, and hopefully you will learn from it too if you also have issues with money and fear that you're not "doing it right".

2. Relationships

I'm 22 years old and I feel like I should be engaged and on the road to a marriage, a house, and at least an internship. And guess what? I'm not. I'm 22, single, and nowhere near a marriage and I have yet to find an internship. If you're like me - single and eating cereal in bed while watching New Girl instead of getting hitched - then you can relate. Besides the fact that everyone is seemingly getting married, it's as if everyone has a significant other. I, on the other hand, am on the other side of the spectrum, and sometimes it gets lonely and I feel like there is something wrong with me. This is the part where I feel like I'm not "doing it right" in my 20s. The pressure of society has been raining on me pretty hard, making me believe that I will end up a sad, old spinster. Let's try to remind ourselves that it's okay to be single in our 20s -- no, it's perfectly normal.

3. Education

"I should be done with school now", "Why haven't I graduated yet?" "How long with I be here?" "Will this degree even pay off in the end?" "Is it worth it?" I used to worry so much about how long I would be in school, constantly comparing myself to the so-called traditional students who would start college at age 18 or 19 and finish by the time they were 21 or 22. I'm 22 years old, and I'm still here - and I probably have another year or so to go. And I would always ask myself "Is it normal for me to feel this behind, or to be behind?" And if you're feeling that way as well in school, it's important to remind yourself that there isn't a "normal" with education. Yeah, a lot of students graduate sooner than others, but that doesn't mean you're not doing something wrong if you don't do the same exact thing. It's okay to take your time and do what's best for you -- not what's "right".

4. Internships (careers, the future)

If there is one thing that makes me feel like I'm not living this "20-something" life correctly, it's when I realize I don't have an internship right now. I mean, is that normal? Are you weird or behind if you don't have one? In my defense, trying to find an internship that is associated with an English major can be kind of tough, but there is still that lingering feeling that I could be doing better than what I am right now. The future scares me and I feel behind. If you're feeling a similar way, I guess the crucial thing to try and keep in mind, is that it's okay to not know where you want to go or have planned out for the future. Let's try to keep in perspective that it's not the end of the world if we don't have an internship or a perfect career right at this very moment. We will get there.

5. Wanting to be... happy

What can I say? We all just want to be happy. Everybody does, that's a given. And when you're 20-something years old with the big bad world in front of you, it can be intimidating as it is anxiety ridden. But hey, you're not alone. To those who want to achieve happiness but are constantly beaten down with lingering thoughts that ensue stress and sadness, it will pass. It's okay to feel like you're not "doing it right", because there isn't a right or a wrong during these horrendous, yet beautiful years.

Hang in there,


Jules