The twenties, the final transition between being a teenager and being an adult. However, the transition is not that simple as showcased by the thousands of memes on the internet: adulting is not easy. The growth from a teenager to an adult is not as effortless as a simple birthday.

The hardest part about your twenties is that we're taught that certain successes are meant to make up this point in our lives. We're taught to graduate from college, choose a career, move a committed relationship to the next level with marriage, have kids, find our passions and have our lives pretty much figured out. The timeframe that these decisions, that will essentially set the tone for the rest of your life, fall within a ten year time limit. We have ten years to create a life we want to live. Don’t get me wrong; these years are a time filled with so much fun. However, there are so many points during these years that the pressure is insurmountable.

The worst part is that if you don’t attain those predetermined steps you subconsciously feel as though you’re less of a person. You translate your inability to check things off of a preconceived list as a failure. You’re bombarded with questions about the future from every person and aspect of your life.

When are you graduating? When are you getting married? When are you going to find a real job? When are you going to have kids? When?

All these whens make you question everything you’re doing currently. I feel like we all had those big ideas mapped out in our minds when we were young. I thought I’d be married by 21, a mom by 23, with a job I loved going to. I thought I could do it all, but life changes you. Those ideas you once had when you were un-jaded by everything change. Your passions change, your definitions of success and happiness change. You change.

Those whens always lead to the what ifs. Your mind is plagued with every decision you’ve made. Could life be different if I had followed the plan I made before I knew myself? Could life be better? Or worse? What if I made a mistake? You begin to revisit your past to see if any part of it should be in your future. You hone in on what we want our life to look like in five, ten, twenty years. We’re always living for the future version of ourselves, rather than the moment.

The truth is I’m 21, I’m not married and I don’t see myself being married within the next five years. I'm not going to be a mom in two years, I haven't carried out the plan that I made for myself. That’s OKAY. I am content with the person I am and the path I’m taking. That’s what is important, that should be the expectation of this decade of your life. Make it your goal, there is no concrete rule and timeframe on what you should accomplish and when you should do it.

“It’s not about the destination, but the journey.” I know, it’s super cheesy, but it’s so relevant. When you look back you’re not going to want just those accomplishments, you’re going to want those experiences that got you here.

Live.