"Come on, let's get some Slap Ass over here"

In 9th grade, I was on the wrestling team for one season. I went to practice everyday, put in the work, and went home. My weight class was 170, I was fairly limber, and what I lacked in strength I made up for in technique. Needless to say, I thought that I would make a big splash because I had a unique physique and an unquestionable heart.

First match, loss. Second match, loss. Fifth match, loss AND I got slammed so harshly onto the mat that my neck crunched into my body as though I was an accordion. A pattern was really created for my first (and last) season, and I had gotten to my seventh match without a single win. Come my seventh match, I wasn't sure if I had improved overnight or if my opponent was having an off day, but I won. I felt as though I was at the apex of my performance as a high school wrestler.

The team crowded around me as I returned to our side of the gym, where I was giving out high fives and waving to my many fans in the crowd (my mom and sister). The team captain then showed how pleased he was with my performance when he did something that caught me totally off guard. What he did embodied brotherhood, sportsmanship, and unity all in one swift motion: he slapped me on the ass, and thinking back on it, I embraced it.

Key and Peele take this idea of ass slapping in their sketch "Slap Ass" and create the character Rafi (Jordan Peele), who is very addicted to slapping his fellow players on their asses. He walks into the locker room after a well fought game, slapping his fellow players on the butt. The teammates grimace, because they know he is coming, he is going to be loud and obnoxious, and he is going to be gripping one of their butt cheeks.

Finally, one player named Garcia (Keegan-Michael Key) stands up and refuses to have his ass slapped. Other players join in, telling Rafi of his addiction and how he simply does it too much. Rafi argues back, saying things like "All we do is hit home runs and slap ass" and "c'mon, you slap ass too." He then comes in with the funniest line in the sketch:

I'm from the Dominican Republic, okay? All I know since I was a little kid was to catch fly balls and say "SLAP ASS!"

To which Garcia replies:

Finally, Rafi is carried out of the locker room because of his inability to control his urge, kicking and screaming while his fellow players hold him back. He is then in the final scene scratching himself and holding his arm as if he had been going through withdrawals. So desperate to smack Garcia on the butt, he offers oral pleasure if he allows him one more hit.

So as we can see, the writers of this particular sketch aimed to make two things clear: Ass slapping goes on in sports and there's a lot of it.

Looking deeper into this phenomenon, slap ass in the sports world is similar to a high five or a handshake. The "slapper" is trying to let the "slapped" know that he saw the performance, thought it was excellent, and wants to see more of it. Though most commonly displayed on the football field, ass slapping is a widespread activity done across all sports from the high school level to the pros. However, their introduction of such a weird activity raises brows, curiosity, and leaves us with questions about the activity as a whole.

1. "How did slap ass become a wide spread activity throughout sports?"

Ass slapping is very open to interpretation. Of course they didn't document the first time this happened because it's so trivial despite its constant presence in sports.

Some tackle this in a logical setting. An interesting Reddit post argues that the ass's ubiquity makes it the slapping the easiest way to indicate that there was something worth congratulating in a performance or a play in several popular sports. It's not covered by padding in football whereas everywhere else is, hands often times are out of reach when running, and even in soccer it's a quick and simple way to just throw in a "good job" after a play. He then summarizes the comment he made:

So, in short, because the ass is always a viable target, it doesn't require mutual attention, it's not very involved, and it's a guaranteed way to get attention.

There are also much more historical arguments to this topic. Some say that it originated in ancient Rome in the purchasing of slaves. When slaves were sold as gladiators, it's said that the owners would slap their thighs, shoulders, and buttocks to display fitness. Others in the sports fan community argue that it was inspired by horse racing. An article by Cliff Mendez titled "The Unspoken Rules of Butt Slapping" claims that slapping horses on the behind energized them during races.

Now in the skit, Rafi stresses that this is a behavior that he adopted in his youth. Though that may be the case, even in at a young age it was more than likely athletic instinct to slap. In the video, he makes no clear indication as to why he's slapping ass, but just emphasizes how much he needs it. Even though no one can pinpoint an exact origin from which this tradition originated, it doesn't matter because of its innate presence in sports. Athletes, much like Rafi, understand that it's just something you do.

2. How does one execute an ass smack correctly?"

There are many different ways to slap people on the ass with several different techniques followed by different connotations. You do it with firm palm when you're trying to discipline your child, but if you want to be more sensual, use a grabbing motion to indicate enjoyment/gratitude. In sports, however, there are a lot more ways to go about if you want to have the correct meaning behind the slap as well as proper etiquette. I've taken the time to create the acronym "GREAT," a phrase often uttered before or after the slapping occurs. Several of these general rules as well as others can also be found in "The Unspoken Rules of Butt Slapping."

Grabbing is probably the biggest don't. Elongated contact with the ass can really take a player's mind of the game. Instead, it's important to maintain about a second to a half a second of contact with the buttocks. Anything after that is awkward and the message will probably be misconstrued.

Reason is just as important as execution. If you have a magnificent reason to slap, then it will be just that: a magnificent slap. If you have a mediocre or crappy reason to slap, that's how the slap will be received. Don't be over impressed by little plays and give slaps out like candy. Wait for a true game changer or an MVP moment before you wind up.

Elect a single cheek and run with it. Its probably better to go with the cheek closest to your side as that's easiest to hit. Once again, this overall cuts down on awkward glares and misreading signals.

Attention is something you should never lose, no matter the sport you're participating in. You don't need to look at the slap or give it ample thought. Instead just tap and move on with the game.

Timing can really mess up a good smack if you're running across the field to do it. Just wait for an opportune time rather than creating your own. When the game is done, the mystique and the appropriate time of smacking goes with it. After this, it's best to stick to verbal congratulations or stick to high fives and fist bumps. Don't take it to the showers.

From what we can tell, Rafi violates every single one of these, and therefore is not a proficient ass slapper. He doesn't wait for an opportune time, nor does he just remain alert after the slap. Taking the contact in this direction says something about how he operates on the field: more than likely, he's a below-average player who lacks charisma and star power. Rather than practicing or trying to better himself at his craft, he thinks his amount of slap ass he's doing is having a positive effect on his performance, or at the very least the performance of others.

3. What effect, if any, does slap ass actually have on a team?

It would stand to reason that if this activity is still so popular among players of major league sports, then it must have some effect on actual playing. As it turns out, from a biological perspective, slapping can truly be that of a game changer.

Multiple neuroscience studies explain that we have evolved as a species to take meaningful contact as sign of caring; the aftermath is then the creation of social bonding and the release of a neurochemical known as dopamine. Dopamine being released through our brain makes us have that "good feeling" you get when someone says " I love you" or when you win a $1,000.

Rafi is addicted to this sensation because he probably lacks other forms of genuine human connection in his life. This explains his extreme desperation to "slap ass" towards the end of the skit and why it has become a biological need instead of a pleasure.

But the important part is what this process produces: a well bonded team. Further studies show that teams that smack one another on the ass often times prevail over teams that don't. This makes sense because with "bonding" comes better relationships, better chemistry, and better overall team work.

Research conducted by Micheal W. Kraus in 2010 looks at the physicality among different basketball teams in the NBA. According to an article by Benedict Carey on the psychology of physical contact, Kraus's study found the following:

The most touch-bonded teams were the Boston Celtics and the Los Angeles Lakers, currently two of the league's top teams; at the bottom were the mediocre Sacramento Kings and Charlotte Bobcats; Players who made contact with teammates most consistently and longest tended to rate highest on measures of performance, and the teams with those players seemed to get the most out of their talent.

It's not skill that ass slapping builds — its the trust that players forge in their minds every single time they make contact. Now this can produce a negative effect, as seen by Rafi in the sketch. When done compulsively, the violation of personal space, in addition to the incorrect grabbing motion doesn't help meld the team together, rather it produces the opposite effect and makes Rafi seem like that much more of a weirdo.

We laugh at Rafi, but by asking these questions, we've uncovered how sad this truly is. Rafi is and below-average player who wakes up every morning to touch teammates on the ass. Hopefully Rafi will find solace in his new team, where he will have a wide variety of new butts to choose from.

Me personally, I think the most interesting part about ass slapping in sports is how little it's brought to peoples' attention. That's because it has become more than just an activity. Instead, its turned into a strategy, a mindset, and an involuntary action for all athletes alike.