The concept of confidence is a very important one. It's really a state that impacts each one of us as human beings and plays an incredibly significant role in the way we behave, interact, and essentially live on a daily basis. You may have observed at some point in your life people who appeared to have effortlessly exuded confidence. They had the looks, the intelligence, the job, the car and the many other things that we all dream of having. You may have thought, "I want to be like that. What's their secret?" The usual response to that question is that, by attaining the finer things in life, I can have confidence. By having the things they have, I can be just as confident as they are.

There is a misconception that wearing designer clothes, driving a BMW, attending a prestigious school, having an impressive job, or being in a relationship with someone attractive and well-to-do will give you the confidence you want. We have been fed this lie: that, by having this stuff, all of which are external to us, we will be happier, more liked by people, and ultimately more confident with ourselves. To be clear, there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a luxury car, a Chanel bag, a successful relationship, or a great job. Some of these things, like a good education, a well-paying job, and a happy and healthy relationship, are important, and we should enjoy them for what they are, but we should not let them define our self-worth. Instead of perceiving confidence as a product of our achievements, we need to place importance on cultivating our confidence first.

Confidence is an internal state of being; it's how we feel about ourselves and understand our worth. If you're one of those people whose confidence is largely dependent on the external, material things in your life, it will surely fluctuate and may even fade, leaving you in your original state of insecurity and vulnerability. As we all know, people and things come and go in life; change is inevitable. That relationship that gives you your confidence may not always last. The job that you have is not always secure either. By focusing on such things, which are constantly subject to change, as the sources of your confidence, you are unnecessarily placing burdens on yourself. You live your life worrying out of fear of losing these things, because they serve as the only foundation on which your confidence is built. Once they no longer exist in your life, your confidence undoubtedly crumbles.

The right way to acquire and develop your confidence is by firstly looking inward and accepting yourself for who you are, in spite of what you do or do not have. This way of understanding confidence gives you power instead of things outside of you. By recognizing and knowing your own value and worth, your confidence becomes unwavering. The stuff that you once thought was the sole source of your happiness no longer functions as such. With a strong foundation of confidence, these things can certainly make you happier and allow you to enjoy them for what they are, but once they are no longer a part of your life, you will not be vulnerable to a diminished sense of confidence. You've already built your confidence and developed an awareness of your own importance, so you understand that, no matter what comes or what goes, you're content with where you're at in your life and who you are.