The Truth About Being A 'Loner'

The Truth About Being A 'Loner'

You either love it or you want to stop seeing yourself as one.

Loners are often romanticized in our "always connected" world: the loner girl who secretly writes amazing poetry, the loner guy who ends up being the hero, blah blah blah.

Authors and script writers make millions off of books and movies that focus on a character just enough out of the ordinary and just cut-off enough to be interesting like Logan in The Lucky One or Dawson in The Best Of Me (or any Nicholas Sparks main character for that matter).

When you think of a loner, you might think of somebody who is content with themselves and their way of life. Maybe they are so focused and goal-orienented that it leaves little time for outside interaction. Maybe they just have no interest in talking to people because they prefer to be alone. Or maybe, secretly, they hate the title that seems to define many aspects of their life and wish they could break free.

I fit into that last description.

In high school, I felt like I tried way too hard to fit in. I tried to buy the same clothes as other girls, watch the same shows, and have the same hobbies all in the interest of finding friends. The summer before college, I decided that I was going to be myself and find people who liked me for me. As it turns out, it was harder than I thought.

I'm not necessarily an outgoing person. If somebody starts talking to me, I will open up and be friendly but striking up a conversation first? Forget it.

None of this was made any easier by the fact that I had a single dorm my freshman year, so I basically sat in there alone and studied and watched Netflix without a second thought. I didn't join any clubs. I had a hatred for sororities and any girl involved with one. I made no moves to talk to the awesome people that literally lived right outside my door. I, unknowingly, was making myself a loner.

Of course, I did find friends here and there. I talked to people on my floor in my dorm, had friends to sit with in classes, I studied with my friends, we went to meals together and went out on the weekends every so often. But a part of me felt like I was never really part of anything, like I was an outsider looking in. I still spent a lot of time alone doing my own thing: writing, drawing, reading, working out.

Loners might be romanticized, but actually being a loner? Well, the description is right in the title. Lonely.

Seeing people on campus with their groups is hard when you can't seem to find yours. I even found myself getting jealous of sorority girls and contemplated rushing just for the sole purpose of finding my bearings and making the lifelong friends that Greek life promises. But amidst those thoughts, I realized something. That really just isn't me.

Being a loner doesn't have to be so lonely. Putting yourself out there and opening up to the world is the first step. It's hard, it's scary, and it's not easy if you aren't an outgoing and friendly person. It's also made harder if you're an extremely judgmental person like myself (which isn't easy for me to admit). I've pushed a lot of people away with my judgments when I should've been more accepting.

I'm about to start my sophomore year of college and it dawned on me that I really no longer want to categorize myself or be categorized as a loner. I'm a fun person, I love laughing and telling stories and having conversations with people. I see other girls struggling with the same things I do and I have one piece of advice: don't let it define you. Go to the party. Talk to the girl with Greek letters on her shirt. Sit next to people you wouldn't normally sit next to. Strike up a conversation with that girl who just ordered the same thing as you in the Starbucks line. I've tried it recently and I've found that there are some truly amazing people out there.

So put your fears, your judgments, everything behind you and open up. You might just find the people you've been looking for all along.

Cover Image Credit: Iransafebox

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35 Major Life Facts According To Nick Miller

"All booze is good booze, unless it's weak booze."

Fact: If you watch "New Girl," you love Nick Miller.

You can't help it. He's an adorable, lovable mess of a man and you look forward to seeing him and his shenanigans each week. While living the infamous and incomparable life of Nick Miller, and obviously Julius Pepperwood— he has learned many valuable laws of the land. And, although Nick refuses to learn anything from anyone besides his mysterious, old Asian friend Tran, he does have a few lessons he'd like to teach us.

Here are 35 facts of life according to 'Nick Milla Nick Milla':

1. Drinking keeps you healthy.

"I'm not gonna get sick. No germ can live in a body that is 65% beer."

2. Dinosaurs never existed.

"I don't believe dinosaurs existed. I've seen the science. I don't believe it."

3. A paper bag is a bank.

"A bank is just a paper bag but with fancier walls."

4. Having sex is similar to delivering mail.

"I'm like a mailman, except instead of mail it's hot sex that I deliver."

5. Moonwalking is a foolproof way to get out of any awkward situation.

Jess (about Nick): "Now he won't even talk to me. I saw him this morning and he just panic moonwalked away from me. He does that sometimes."

6. Using a movie reference is also a great way.

Cece: "Come on, get up!"

Nick: "No, I don't dance. I'm from that town in "Footloose."

7. There's no reason to wash towels.

Nick: "I don’t wash the towel. The towel washes me. Who washes a towel?"

Schmidt: "You never wash your towel?"

Nick: "What am I gonna do? Wash the shower next? Wash a bar of soap?"

8. Exes are meant to be avoided at all costs (especially if/unless they're Caroline)

"I don't deal with exes, they're part of the past. You burn them swiftly and you give their ashes to Poseidon."

9. IKEA furniture is not as intimidating as it looks.

"I'm building you the dresser. I love this stuff. It's like high-stakes LEGOs."

10. You don't need forks if you have hands.

Jess: "That's gross. Get a fork, man."

Nick: "I got two perfectly good forks at the end of my arms!"

11. Sex has a very specific definition.

"It's not sex until you put the straw in the coconut."

12. Doors are frustrating.

"I will push if I want to push! Come on! I hate doors!"

13. All booze is good booze.

"Can I get an alcohol?"

14. ...unless it's weak booze.

"Schmidt, that is melon flavored liquor! That is 4-proof! That is safe to drink while you're pregnant!"

15. Writers are like pregnant women.

Jess: "You know what that sound is? It's the sound of an empty uterus."

Nick: "I can top that easily. I'm having a hard time with my zombie novel."

Jess: "Are you really comparing a zombie novel to my ability to create life?"

Nick: "I'm a writer, Jess. We create life."

16. All bets must be honored.

"There is something serious I have to tell you about the future. The name of my first-born child needs to be Reginald VelJohnson. I lost a bet to Schmidt."

17. Adele's voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.

"Adele is amazing."

18. Beyoncé is extremely trustworthy.

"I'd trust Beyoncé with my life. We be all night."

19. Fish, on the other hand, are not.

“Absolutely not. You know I don’t trust fish! They breathe water. That's crazy!"

20. Bar mitzvahs are terrifying.

Schmidt: "It's a bar mitzvah!"

Nick: "I am NOT watching a kid get circumcised!"

21. are blueberries.

Jess: "So far, Nick Miller's list of fears is sharks, tap water, real relationships..."

Nick: "And blueberries."

22. Take your time with difficult decisions. Don't be rash.

Jess: "You care about your burritos more than my children, Nick?"

Nick: "You're putting me in a tough spot!"

23. Getting into shape is not easy.

"I mean, I’m not doing squats or anything. I’m trying to eat less donuts."

24. We aren't meant to talk about our feelings.

"If we needed to talk about feelings, they would be called talkings."

25. We're all a little bit too hard on ourselves.

"The enemy is the inner me."

26. Freezing your underwear is a good way to cool off.

"Trust me, I'm wearing frozen underpants right now and I feel amazing. I'm gonna grab some old underpants and put a pair into the freezer for each of you."

27. Public nudity is normal.

"Everbody has been flashed countless times."

28. Alcohol is a cure-all.

"You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol. You treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol."

29. Horses are aliens.

"I believe horses are from outer-space."

30. Turtles should actually be called 'shell-beavers.'

Jess: "He calls turtles 'shell-beavers."

Nick: "Well, that's what they should be called."

31. Trench coats are hot.

"This coat has clean lines and pockets that don't quit, and it has room for your hips. And, when I wear it, I feel hot to trot!"

32. Sparkles are too.

"Now, my final bit of advice, and don't get sensitive on this, but you've got to change that top it's terrible and you've got to throw sparkles on. Sparkles are in. SPARKLES ARE IN."

33. Introspection can lead to a deeper knowing of oneself.

"I'm not convinced I know how to read. I've just memorized a lot of words."

34. It's important to live in the moment.

"I know this isn't gonna end well but the middle part is gonna be awesome."

35. Drinking makes you cooler.

Jess: "Drinking to be cool, Nick? That's not a real thing."

Nick: "That's the only thing in the world I know to be true."

Cover Image Credit: Hollywood Reporter

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Toulouse Grande, Ari's Dog, Stole The Spotlight In The 'thank u, next' Music Video

Any dog other than Toulouse Grande? Thank you, next!


For those of you who don't know (or who are jumping on the Ariana Grande train just now), Toulouse is one of Ariana's many dogs. He's appeared in a few other music videos, like 'Right There' and 'No Tears Left To Cry'. However, his cameo was most prominent in her latest music video for 'thank u, next', which, by the way, broke YouTube records.

1. He's first seen rolling up with Ari, dressed as Elle Woods from Legally Blonde

Hannah Lux Davis

Toulouse called shotgun.

2. Toulouse stars as Bruiser Woods, Elle's sidekick

Hannah Lux Davis

Name a more iconic duo.

3. He's featured in some close-ups

Hannah Lux Davis

Every other dog on the planet is QUAKING in their boots.

4. Toulouse has no fear of the spotlight with his mommy by his side

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Nerves? Thank you, next.

5. He even wears his own custom swimsuit 

Hannah Lux Davis

He's living his best life.

6. How could you forget his studded collar?

Hannah Lux Davis

This collar probably costs more than my car.

7. He is completely unfazed by the cameras 

Alfredo Flores

He was BORN for showbiz.

8. At one point he literally watches himself on TV

Hannah Lux Davis

An absolute ICON.

9. He was even seen being pampered in behind the scenes footage

Alfredo Flores

Sadly, this scene didn't make it to the actual music video.

10. He got all the affection in between takes

Alfredo Flores

Only the best smooches for Toulouse.

11. Toulouse was an absolute spotlight-stealer

Hannah Lux Davis

He is killing it.

12. Keep living your best life, Toulouse!

Hannah Lux Davis

We'll keep living vicariously through you.

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