The Truth About Being A 'Loner'

The Truth About Being A 'Loner'

You either love it or you want to stop seeing yourself as one.
277
views

Loners are often romanticized in our "always connected" world: the loner girl who secretly writes amazing poetry, the loner guy who ends up being the hero, blah blah blah.

Authors and script writers make millions off of books and movies that focus on a character just enough out of the ordinary and just cut-off enough to be interesting like Logan in The Lucky One or Dawson in The Best Of Me (or any Nicholas Sparks main character for that matter).

When you think of a loner, you might think of somebody who is content with themselves and their way of life. Maybe they are so focused and goal-orienented that it leaves little time for outside interaction. Maybe they just have no interest in talking to people because they prefer to be alone. Or maybe, secretly, they hate the title that seems to define many aspects of their life and wish they could break free.

I fit into that last description.

In high school, I felt like I tried way too hard to fit in. I tried to buy the same clothes as other girls, watch the same shows, and have the same hobbies all in the interest of finding friends. The summer before college, I decided that I was going to be myself and find people who liked me for me. As it turns out, it was harder than I thought.

I'm not necessarily an outgoing person. If somebody starts talking to me, I will open up and be friendly but striking up a conversation first? Forget it.

None of this was made any easier by the fact that I had a single dorm my freshman year, so I basically sat in there alone and studied and watched Netflix without a second thought. I didn't join any clubs. I had a hatred for sororities and any girl involved with one. I made no moves to talk to the awesome people that literally lived right outside my door. I, unknowingly, was making myself a loner.

Of course, I did find friends here and there. I talked to people on my floor in my dorm, had friends to sit with in classes, I studied with my friends, we went to meals together and went out on the weekends every so often. But a part of me felt like I was never really part of anything, like I was an outsider looking in. I still spent a lot of time alone doing my own thing: writing, drawing, reading, working out.

Loners might be romanticized, but actually being a loner? Well, the description is right in the title. Lonely.

Seeing people on campus with their groups is hard when you can't seem to find yours. I even found myself getting jealous of sorority girls and contemplated rushing just for the sole purpose of finding my bearings and making the lifelong friends that Greek life promises. But amidst those thoughts, I realized something. That really just isn't me.

Being a loner doesn't have to be so lonely. Putting yourself out there and opening up to the world is the first step. It's hard, it's scary, and it's not easy if you aren't an outgoing and friendly person. It's also made harder if you're an extremely judgmental person like myself (which isn't easy for me to admit). I've pushed a lot of people away with my judgments when I should've been more accepting.

I'm about to start my sophomore year of college and it dawned on me that I really no longer want to categorize myself or be categorized as a loner. I'm a fun person, I love laughing and telling stories and having conversations with people. I see other girls struggling with the same things I do and I have one piece of advice: don't let it define you. Go to the party. Talk to the girl with Greek letters on her shirt. Sit next to people you wouldn't normally sit next to. Strike up a conversation with that girl who just ordered the same thing as you in the Starbucks line. I've tried it recently and I've found that there are some truly amazing people out there.

So put your fears, your judgments, everything behind you and open up. You might just find the people you've been looking for all along.

Cover Image Credit: Iransafebox

Popular Right Now

The 10 Stages Of A 2:30 P.M. Kickoff, As Told By Alabama Students

But we still say Roll MF Tide!

3506
views

We all have a love-hate relationship with a 2:30 p.m. kickoff at Bryant Denny Stadium, especially when it's 94 degrees.

1. Immediate sadness

media.giphy.com

What do you mean I have to wake up at 9 a.m. to get ready?

2. Bracing yourself for the worst

media.giphy.com

It's a marathon not a sprint ladies and gentleman.

3. Accepting the game is going to happen

media.giphy.com

Rain or shine we are all in that student section screaming our heads off.

4. Trying to wear the least amount clothes possible without being naked on the Quad

media.giphy.com

Is it me or does it get 10 times more hot the minute you walk on to the quad?

5. Shedding a tear when you walk out your front door once you feel the heat and humidity on your skin

media.giphy.com

Is it fall yet?

6. Drowning your sorrows inside a Red Solo cup at 11:30 a.m. at a fraternity tailgate

media.giphy.com

Maybe I'll forget about the humidity if I start frat hopping now.

7. Getting in line to go through security realizing it'll take an hour to actually get inside Bryant Denny

media.giphy.com

More security is great and all but remember the heat index in Alabama? Yeah, it's not easy being smushed like sardines before even getting into Bryant Denny.

8. Feeling the sweat roll down every part of your body

media.giphy.com

Oh yeah I am working on my tan and all but what is the point of showering before kick off?

9. Attempting to cheer on the Tide, but being whacked in the head with a shaker by the girl behind you. 

media.giphy.com

Shakers are tradition, but do we have to spin it around in a full 360 every two seconds? I have a migraine from just thinking about it.

10. Leaving a quarter into the game because Alabama is kicking ass and you're about to have a heat stroke.

media.giphy.com

I'll watch the rest in air conditioning thank you very much!

We may not love the 2:30 kickoffs but Roll Tide!

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

I Made Emma Chamberlain's Mediocre Vegan Cookies, And They're Pretty Incredible

Emma and her vegan cookies have made their way into my heart, and are here to stay.

43
views

One day, I went down the black hole that is 'YouTube at 3 am' and discovered my favorite social media influencer of all time: Emma Chamberlain. I started binge watching her videos every night for about a week, where I came across her "Cooking With Emma" series. I decided that I wanted to give her vegan antics a go for myself.

I've never cooked or baked anything with the intention of it being vegan, so not only is that new territory for me, but I've never even eaten a vegan cookie. The only reason I'm doing this is because Emma did, and she is aesthetic goals.

To start the journey of vegan baking, I took to Pinterest, just like Emma, and found this recipe to use. Although the video that inspired all of this used a gluten free recipe, I opted for only vegan, because I'm allergic to most of the ingredients that make things gluten-free.


In true Emma style, I used a whisk to combine the wet ingredients together, making sure to use her special technique.


Then, I did the same thing with the dry ingredients.


After that, I dumped everything together and combined all of the ingredients.


Once they were combined, I chopped up a vegan chocolate bar, because Emma and I like chocolate chunk cookies, not chocolate chip, there's a difference.


Now that everything is combined, I made balls of dough and stuck it on a pan, and baked them while I binged more Emma, because what else would I be doing in my spare time?



The recipe said to make the balls a lot smaller, but we aren't perfect, so I made them gigantic. In my head, I thought the worst thing that could happen was it turn into one big cookie, but that's a whole other video you need to watch.

I took them out of the oven, and they were brown on the top, but still a little doughy. At this point I was tired of waiting and eager to eat them, so I disappointingly set them aside to cool, which only lasted a minute or so before I snagged one up to try.



The taste was definitely one I've never associated with cookies, and came to the conclusion that if I decided to go vegan, it would be doable with these cookies and Emma Chamberlain by my side.



Emma inspired me to get out of my comfort zone, which is a reoccurring theme throughout her channel, and I'm happy to be apart of it. She taught me that even if mediocre cookies is all you have, eat them with pride because you made them yourself.

Related Content

Facebook Comments