Being single has been quite the roller coaster for me. I've been on Tinder, Bumble, have been going out on dates... all the stuff you might do when you're single. Though, you could say I'm pretty picky when it comes to finding someone who I can see as "dating" material.
I've said it many times before, but I'm a girl who likes to be in a relationship. Don't get me wrong, though, being single is definitely fun. But, as the fall season takes full effect, having a significant other to cuddle up and watch movies or go to a pumpkin patch with does sound ideal.
The chase has taken over for me.
I guess you could say I'm open to having a relationship, but I'm not looking for one by any means. If one happens... it happens. The thrill of trying to get that person's attention all on you and getting to know more about them is draining. But why do I like that? Why do I like putting so much time and effort into a person who I think is attractive but who doesn't really care about me? What's so thrilling about that?
They say the chase is a guy thing, but I'm a girl and I yearn for it. And it usually ends badly.
Most of the time when I'm "chasing" after someone, it's the guy who doesn't text me back, the guy who barely knows me or the guy who doesn't really care to get to know me. And why is that? Personally, I think it's my competitive nature. It's just like a sports game. You want your team to win just like how I want to win this guy's attention. Or if I dig deeper, maybe I like the chase because I can potentially be the love of his life and we can live happily ever after.
I'd say that this is my bad habit. Because in the end... I win the prize or I don't. I get the guy who I've been chasing to admit his feelings for me or I don't and I get my heart broken. And most of the time, especially this era of me being single, the rush and adrenaline go away once I get the guy and I start to push myself away after all that hard work.
I like to work. I know I am a hard worker and working for someone's attention intrigues me.
When we hang out and get to know each other I notice everything. Will he remember my favorite band? What I was wearing the first night we met? Perhaps having him show those tiny signs of where he's possibly interested in more than just a hookup makes the chase so compelling.
And like I stated above, it's hard for me to fully commit to someone unless I am 100 percent sure I want them. If I am 97 percent sure I want them, I won't commit. This bad habit of mine gets me in trouble because most of the time, in the end, someone ends up with a broken heart whether it's me or the guy.
The chase is fun and I'm sure people who chase as well can agree. But, in the end, all those little moments of excitement and thrills lead to nothing. Dating sucks, but eventually, we will all find someone who finally ends the chase for us.
Follow Swoon on Instagram.