The things we remember randomly throughout the day can have a major effect on our current mood. Sometimes we ignore things that used to make us sad without taking a look at the positive impact they gave us.

Here are three memories I can't quite shake from my brain.

1. Self-harm.

When I was 10 years old, I had an unbearable urge to get myself out of the classroom. This led me to grab the scissors from inside of my desk and try to cut through my skin so I could be sent to the nurse.

A classmate witnessed this act and notified a teacher. Although hateful toward her at the time for the betrayal, I now realize this was an amazing character on her part.

This one act began an ongoing battle that I still struggle with today. I would continuously cut my arms and legs as a sign of control over what happened to my own body, sometimes for the attention from friends and family, and sometimes for the pain that I was feeling.

I felt as though my emotional pain would be justified if I had a real visual pain. These episodes led to years in and out of therapy and even a weeklong trip to a children’s psychiatric unit.

Thinking about my self-harm frustrates me in the sense that there was so much effort in hiding the wounds. All of which would have been avoided had I tried to reach out to someone in the first place.

A family member once said, “God might not let you into heaven once He sees the markings you’ve made on the beautiful body He gave you." I am not very religious, but this did stick with me because I didn’t even like the markings on my skin.

How would anyone else?

This eventually lead to more lies, and I described my scars as wounds from a car accident. Whether people believed me or not, I will truly never know, but I wish I had done things differently.

I do not advocate for self-harm nor do I suggest that people begin practicing it after they read this article. I’m just saying that this is something people can work on to better themselves.

2. Having an older sister.

There was a particular cheer group of friends that my sister and I had in elementary school. My sister and I were invited to a group sleepover. I was the youngest of the bunch and I only went because my sister was going and I thought it’d be fun.

These friends had made fun of me and had stolen my video-games and hid them in the house. I began crying and begging to go home, but nothing came of the situation. I cannot remember if my sister laughed with them, but I do not remember her trying to stand up for me.

I was forced to sleep in a bed with a girl who was notoriously known for wetting the bed. She did not have a very dry night that night. It was a very harsh awakening of how evil girls can be and how unhelpful some family can be.

Ultimately this is where the bond with my sister began to crack. She would cry about her relationships and friendships with me, and on multiple occasions when I tried to talk to her, I was shunned and ignored.

I remember one time I was getting ready to hang out with friends and caught her face in the mirror with a disgusted expression as I was smiling at myself. I froze and finished my appearance by putting on a larger shirt to hide my belly and more makeup to hide my face. Being a little sister isn’t easy when you’re fat, nerdy, and unpopular, but this was none of her concern at the time.

I realize I have to forgive her, but this will be the hardest bond to fix. I don’t know exactly how to forgive someone that never really gave me a chance.

3. Being "pretty."

In high school, I had many unreturned crushes. It was the norm, and I began to not get my hopes up. My freshman year of high school was ultimately uneventful in the love department until one friend slightly got my hopes up. Then reality set in.

She had told me, “He thinks you’d be pretty...if you lost weight”, and this stuck with me until this very day. I have tried to lose weight my entire life, and this comment set an expectation in my head that I will never be pretty to people if I keep being overweight. I have tried ample diets, exercises, dietary pills, and meal supplements. I have yet to find something that works for me.

I will continue to try to lose weight for a more healthy lifestyle, but not because I am not pretty. I’m pretty now and I will be when I reach my goals. The lesson learned is that self-confidence is key, and I can’t change how I feel about myself just from the words of other people.

While bad things are happening to us, it’s hard to remember that everything happens for a reason. Although these experiences were tough at the time, I learned to grow from it. I hope that all people finding themselves relating to this list are working toward becoming a happier person.

Ultimately, these memories won’t go away, but the power they hang over me certainly dies more each day.