The Strongest Confidence Isn't Based on Looks

The Strongest Confidence Isn't Based on Looks

The confidence that will get you through the toughest situations is so much more than that.

Having complete confidence my whole life would have made everything so much easier. I would not have carefully tailored my middle school wardrobe so I would fit in with the crowd, or been embarrassed to be seen with my mom out in public. Those were burdens I voluntarily tied to my ankles, and with time, I learned that they were not doing me any good. They were holding me back.

I soon learned that the hours of putting on makeup and finding the best clothes did nothing to build the confidence that allowed me to eventually grow into my own skin. Instead of running into the dog food aisle when I saw a schoolmate at the grocery store, I would walk up and say hi. And when high school came around, I was proud to show off that I was a musician. Instead of thinking, “This is what makes me different,” I started thinking, “This is what makes me special.” I appreciated the things that made me me, and became comfortable with myself.

I’m not saying putting on makeup shouldn’t make you feel good, because when I put on makeup and cute outfit I feel like I can dance down the street. But the faith and trust and love you have for yourself cannot be tied to how many likes you get on your Facebook profile picture or how people rank your physical appearance on a scale of one to 10. I think we get too caught up in the lies and facades magazines portray. Megan Fox looks like the most confident girl in her photo shoots and movies, but the same girl on all those magazine covers and posters boys tape to their bedroom walls admits that she is intimidated by the fashion industry and hates how she looks on camera. Zac Efron, too, has been quoted on his lack of self-confidence and how he constantly needs to work with himself to strengthen it. So many people watch movies and say, "If I had his or her body (or hair, face, etc.), I would never be upset." But why can't we have that confidence anyway? The confidence that will bring you back from a breakup, or the kind that will give you strength to take a risk or just be content in your own soul, is based on your personality.

I’m not saying I have Beyoncé-level confidence. I was still shy on the first day of college, and I still stutter when an attractive guy asks me a question. But when I decided to move far away for college, my faith in my personality helped me succeed. I didn’t get on the plane and think, “Well, of course I’ll do great; my eyeliner is on point.” Instead, I thought to myself, “Mere, you treat people well, you are really adaptable, and you’re a tough cookie. And you’ll do great.” That is what gets me through tough situations.

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To The Parent Who Chose Addiction

Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.


When I was younger I resented you, I hated every ounce of you, and I used to question why God would give me a parent like you. Not now. Now I see the beauty and the blessings behind having an addict for a parent. If you're reading this, it isn't meant to hurt you, but rather to thank you.

Thank you for choosing your addiction over me.

Throughout my life, you have always chosen the addiction over my programs, my swim meets or even a simple movie night. You joke about it now or act as if I never questioned if you would wake up the next morning from your pill and alcohol-induced sleep, but I thank you for this. I thank you because I gained a relationship with God. The amount of time I spent praying for you strengthened our relationship in ways I could never explain.

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Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.

The amount of hurt and disappointment our family has gone through has brought us closer together. I have a relationship with Nanny and Pop that would never be as strong as it is today if you had been in the picture from day one. That in itself is a blessing.

Thank you for showing me how to love.

From your absence, I have learned how to love unconditionally. I want you to know that even though you weren't here, I love you most of all. No matter the amount of heartbreak, tears, and pain I've felt, you will always be my greatest love.

Thank you for making me strong.

Thank you for leaving and for showing me how to be independent. From you, I have learned that I do not need anyone else to prove to me that I am worthy of being loved. From you, I have learned that life is always hard, but you shouldn't give into the things that make you feel good for a short while, but should search for the real happiness in life.

Most of all, thank you for showing me how to turn my hurt into motivation.

I have learned that the cycle of addiction is not something that will continue into my life. You have hurt me more than anyone, but through that hurt, I have pushed myself to become the best version of myself.

Thank you for choosing the addiction over me because you've made me stronger, wiser, and loving than I ever could've been before.

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3 Shoe Brands I'm No Longer Buying

I love sneakers, but it's time for me to let these brands go.


My frustration with certain sneaker brands started long ago, but a recent hole in my fifth pair of Supergas was the last straw for me. Here are three sneaker brands that I am forcing myself to say goodbye to.

1. Superga

I have been the most avid Superga fan since I was a freshman in high school. My first pair was the classic white; I wore them every single day to the point where I would simply brush off the comments from boys at my high school who would laugh and call them my nursing shoes. Since that pair, I've been through four others, all white or black platforms. I will always love the look of them, but I am tired of pretending to love the holes in the canvas at the toe that inevitably appears after about a month of wearing them. No, my shoes are not too small, and it shouldn't matter that I wear them too often. After a few months, the Supergas start to look the most worn-down I've ever seen a pair of sneakers, so I have decided to stop spending eighty dollars time and time again for the sake of fashionable nursing shoes.

2. Vans

Vans are the shoe that I consistently buy and just as consistently neglect. Even the coolest pairs (including my platform checkered ones), are pushed aside as I find myself reaching every day for my Air Force 1s or a pair of black booties. I simply hate the way Vans fit around my ankles. And look with my short legs. This is probably a personal preference, but I've decided it's best for me to stop spending sixty bucks on this brand so I can stop feeling heartbreak when I realize months later I haven't worn the shoes more than once.

3. Converse

This may sound controversial considering Converse is so widely appreciated by people of all ages, but I have never shared this great infatuation with the brand. The low-tops are versatile but they appear very basic, too basic, for my liking, and the high tops are yet another shoe that cut me off strangely at the ankle and do not flatter my short legs (again, a personal opinion). I feel like with all the sneakers in the world to choose from, why stick with Converse? It's time for people to start branching out with their footwear!

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