We are born into the world with a push and a cry–as an innocent cherub untouched by the world. Our whole life at this stage mostly consisted of eating and sleeping. We are cooed at, tickled and kissed. We are loved. We are worry free. This stage of our lives is arguably the most peaceful. Ironically, we have little to no memory of this period.
As we grow into a toddler, we start to learn how to walk and talk. At this point in our lives, we are experiencing many firsts. We learn how to ride a bike, how to read, how to write. The list is endless; this stage of our lives is probably where we undergo the most growth.
As a child, we are also filled with insatiable curiosity at the world that we have just come to know. We are inquisitive beings and our imagination is boundless. We start to engage with media, culture and society. Through this exposure, we learn our likes and dislikes and with this, our dreams and ambitions start to develop. No dream was too big and we believed we could do anything. We are honest and we have unfiltered thoughts. We aren’t afraid to be ourselves because we don’t know any better.
As we grow older, we eventually enter the adult stage. This is the stage we, as college students, are currently beginning. Here, we are finally pushed out into the world, left to fend for ourselves. Here, we’re handed the responsibility to start the rest of our lives. It’s supposed to be our turning point; the point where we either make it or break it.
At this point, we’ve been exposed enough to the world to believe that we aren’t special. That talent we thought we had as a child? There are a million others who can do it better than us. And that dream we had as a child about starting our own company? That dream vanished when we realized how much capital it takes to actually run a business and where in the world are we going to get that kind of money?
This stage of our lives is where we have supposedly matured and people are finally starting to deem us as grown-ups. But have we matured or have we just learnt how to conform ourselves into what is deemed right, necessary and acceptable in society? Have we discovered ourselves or have we actually lost who we are? The goal of growing up, and what our parents are trying to help us achieve, is to be self-sufficient adults with the ability to support ourselves. The truth of the matter is, our growth is limited to society’s growth.
When society deems something as unacceptable, the majority of us will deem it that way too. We see this evidently in history–homosexuality and racism, to name a few. The result is that we don’t truly develop autonomy and we don’t truly find ourselves. We become just an imitation of everyone else. We simply go along with society. We learn what is acceptable and we mold ourselves into this general formula, endlessly attempting to please everyone so that we will not be judged and punished.
My point is, none of us have truly grown up, no matter our age. There is always more room for self-growth (not just growing along society) and although our lives will always be filled with worries for the uncertain future and the inevitability of growing up, we can also find unity in this uncertainty in knowing that we are not alone. We are all restless nomads seeking a purpose in life. We are all going through the same process of experimenting and discovering ourselves.
So, as I end this article, I would like to urge all of us to reflect on ourselves and try to live life in reverse–to rediscover who we were before the world told us who we should be. Let us all try to go back into that toddler stage, where anything seemed possible and we can be our weird and goofy selves because that was still deemed acceptable–normal, even–for kids. At what point in our lives did we stop chasing for what we truly wanted? At what point in our lives did we lose ourselves and become just another member of society? At what point in our lives did we start believing we aren’t special?
I’ll leave you all to ponder on a quote someone had said to me before, and that has become one of my favorite quotes:
“You can try to please everyone in the world but at the end of the day, there will always be one left staring back at you in the mirror.”