I want you to know that I still think about you constantly.
We were the perfect group. We all went to high school together, graduated and went our separate ways geographically.
However, our special bond remained in perfect condition despite our lives moving in different directions.
Out of the five of us, three of us ended up at the same college, one of us went to college up north, while one remained in our hometown.
We were the definition of "goals." We understood that we each had our own lives to live while starting this new chapter, but as soon as we reunited, we picked up right where we left off.
Every time I visited home, I was itching to get back to our late night car karaoke sessions to RENT and Kinky Boots. I couldn't wait for our midnight burger and ice cream runs.
Most of all, I was ready to get back to spending quality time with my forever friends.
Last year taught me that "forever" doesn't exist.
I slowly noticed myself being made fun of, teased and ridiculed every five minutes. As someone who is very sensitive, I can handle a little light teasing here and there, but the "teasing" quickly evolved into insults.
I slowly went from an important group member to a placeholder to be replaced when the next best thing came around.
Our hangouts became a burden rather than a fun experience. They became mandatory.
I was insulted and picked on when I couldn't/didn't want to go.
I found myself pulling together every ounce of energy that I had just to spend time with people I once jumped for joy over getting to see.
When you come home crying from hangouts with your "friends," it's time to find some new ones.
I mainly stuck around because I didn't have many friends in my area. Most of my friends were from college, so I basically had no one (proximity-wise).
After spending quality time with my best friend in a different city, I finally grasped the concept that quality is more important than quantity.
I finally decided to move on. I stopped replying to the group chat, and then I eventually removed myself from it completely.
At first, it stung like an entire colony of wasps attacking my chest and stomach all at once.
However, after the initial sting, I was free.
I want to thank you for teaching me how to let go. Even the ones you think of highly can disappoint you, and that's perfectly OK.
You are all in my thoughts to this day and I hope you are all doing great things.
It saddens me how I no longer see your cars in my driveway, but the roads we are individually taking don't have enough room for both of our cars to fit.
I wish each and every one of you the best, and I hope you continue to make wonderful memories together.
With all the love in the world,