I love kids. I really do. I think even as a kid I loved kids. I’d glance over my Highlights magazine with bemused appreciation at the babies in the doctor’s office and then take 25 minutes to find the five differences between the two images. I got my babysitting license at ten which blows my mind now because I could not even walk my dog by myself at that point. So I have always been a kids person. But, occasionally, a child will make you want to move to a 55+ community or live inside of an R rated movie theatre or any place where you will never hear a baby scream again. But, if you are like me and depend on taking care of kids for, you know, money, you have to suck it up. So, here are a few ways I make dealing with kids easier (so I can keep liking them the rest of my life).

1. Plan ahead

If you’re going to babysit, try to plan to go to a park or bake cookies or some activity you guys can do together, because even if the kids can entertain themselves, they will want you to do it while you are there.

2. Go to a movie.

This is really 1 a), but it is such an excellent idea that it deserves its own number. Movies are the best. You get paid to snack and sit in a silent theater for two hours.

3. Make it up.

If you’re coaching sports summer camps, and you do not know what you’re doing, just lie. It seems unethical, but really do kids have a concept of reality anyhow? Probably not. I once coached a cheer camp and, even though I have never cheered in my life (if you don’t count marching band pep chants), I told them I cheered professionally for the Seahawks after school. Definitely made them like me more.

4. Draw it out.

Let them dawdle. If they want to watch the squirrels for five minutes, that’s great, that is an extra 5 minutes you do not have to be actively entertaining them. My favorite example of this is counting to 100 every time you play hide and go seek, even if they really just need 30 seconds. Sometimes I’ll even sit down for a few minutes while I’m “searching”, it lets me take a break and then they just think they’re better at the game.

5. Nap

If the kids at the summer camp are digging tag, let them play it an extra few minutes. As long as everyone is happy and entertained that is more important to keeping to a schedule. Plus, it gives you leeway to cut something less popular a little shorter later.

7. Know your worth.

You are essentially getting paid to let kids roast you. That’s honestly half the job.

8. Throw it back (not like that).

The Song That Never Ends has not aged well.

9. Ask them.

Nothing is funnier than a child explaining virtually anything. Just keep asking them to tell you want stuff is and listen to them. They’ll love the platform to talk, and you’ll be thoroughly amused the whole time.

10. Don’t be afraid to get goofy.

No one there is going to judge you. They are seven. Kids love when you sing with them, or make them dance, or just generally go crazy. If you help them choreograph a dance to Frozen they will love you until the end of time.

11. Have fun.

Bring energy, get creative. Make up fun playground games and actually play with them. You can read your book or look at Instagram later in the day. If you get into a game of Hot Lava Monster you’ll be surprised how quickly time will pass. Kids are amazing.