The Right Guy Doesn't Care If You're Skinny

The Right Guy Doesn't Care If You're Skinny

Other things matter more in the right relationship, and the idea that weight and body shape equals love is misguided.

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I keep waiting for the day when "skinny" will lose its social equation to "beautiful." I keep waiting for magazine covers to show something besides a model with sultry lips, tight stomach, and calves the size of beanstalks.

I wished this even when I was thirteen and new to the world of social beauty. My wish didn't keep me--and 0.9% of American women--from developing anorexia at sixteen. Nor did it keep me from that longing many of us know well: to be thin.

I'm not saying that the entire beauty industry has eyes for skinny girls. Check out #aerieREAL, for example.

But I am saying most of the beauty industry is suggesting some dangerous stuff, such as the notion that you have to be skinny to be sexy, and that you have to be thin to be worthy of a partner.

You won't have to be skinny for the right guy, ladies. I promise.

Many partners prefer confidence to digits on a scale.

When I was fifteen, I asked a close guy friend what he found most attractive in women. (Naturally. I was hungry for this kind of knowledge).

His answer was immediate. "Confidence," he said. "Hands down."

I actually posed this question to multiple men and women in the subsequent decade and received the same answer, unanimously. I'm past the point where this stuns me. It makes sense.

Think about who is most likely to captivate you, romantically, sexually, or otherwise: someone striding into a room in a power pose, or someone who slinks in shyly, hunched over her own form?

We notice people who believe in themselves, and not just in a superficial, physical, or sexual way. I am most compelled to romantic partners who know themselves and own what they have. I only notice their body shape, in these cases, way after the fact, if at all.

The right guy will feel the same way. He won't be there peering over your shoulder as you weigh yourself. Nor will he urge you to squeeze into a size zero or eat less to preserve your figure. (Ew.)

The notion that body shape determines love (or sexual attention) is misguided--even dangerous.

This is a principle perpetuated by media and even by dating apps--endlessly. And it is utterly false.

Your body shape does not preclude a romantic relationship. Nor does it preclude respect, love, and even a healthy sex life.

Yet it is so easy to buy into this notion, even after a quick scroll through social media, a brief glance at the news. It is so easy to believe that our future "person" will only crave a woman with flawless skin and an A-cup.

Such thinking can compel dangerous behavior, including eating disorders, unhealthy dieting, self-mutilation, and even suicide.

And if you do meet a guy who prioritizes body shape over most anything else, run. He's not for you. Enough said.

How do we crawl out from under such messages that media sends our way? I admit this can be challenging. Experience, however, is the only answer. And I don't just mean finding someone to sleep with you. Venturing into the dating world and encountering other lovers, while intimidating, can offer abundant perspectives.

I, for one, have learned that--nearly ubiquitously--many men prefer a woman who doesn't fit the standard skinny mold. My current partner, for example, doesn't question my tummy flab, the jiggle in my thighs. He thinks--bless him--these are feminine staples. He doesn't want my hip bones to protrude any more than they do.

Who knew?

Besides, "Skinny," "Normal," and Even "Dieting" Isn't Hip Anymore

You may have noticed that there is a huge self-acceptance movement building. A few clues I've noticed lately are the incredible success of movies with an "acceptance" theme, like The Greatest Showman. In fact, the soundtrack, with (with a theme song, "This Is Me") is experiencing a historic run on the top of the Billboard charts accomplished only a few times in music history by names like the Beatles and Adele.

Did you notice that even Weight Watchers has changed their name and branding? Yes, they now cringe at being labeled as a "weight loss diet," (diets usually fail) and have evolved into, "WW Wellness" -- focusing more on health than weight. That's a pretty significant sign of the times, don't you think?

He may have insecurities too.

Body image is not exclusive to women. Gendered and non-gendered individuals also have, at bare minimum, some concept of how they look. It's only natural that some of us may nurse some healthy anxieties. You may not be the only one in a relationship fighting with a mirror. It's a human thing, not a female thing.

Recognizing that no one is exempt may help ease the pressure, just like an ice-breaker. Better yet, have a conversation with your partner about body image, positivity, and confidence.

Other things will matter more.

In the right relationship, you may find yourself stepping further and further away from that scale.

Sure, I still have those ugly stares with myself in the mirror, the ones where I feel frustrated with how I look. (Who doesn't?)

But these grow more infrequent the more I commit to a relationship, the more I immerse myself in it and honor it. This is because true commitment, in my eyes, merits self-love. And when I'm flying high in the self-love department, I could give a damn about my jean size.

Focusing on your partner, the health of your relationship, how to get to know your lover's language more -- these things will, you may find, matter more than anything else.

And that's when you may know it's right.

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5 Wedding Hairstyles For The Bride With Rapunzel-Like Hair

Stunning wedding hairstyles especially for brides with longer hair.

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In the event that you have long hair and you are making sense of how to manage your hair for the big day, perusing this may very well spare you.

More often than not, Rapunzel-like ladies are frightened of getting excessively hair covering the front of her face under the cloak. Being too wild is likewise one issue, so some resort into getting it trimmed or abbreviated for the event. However, that shouldn't be the situation.

Here are a couple of beyond any doubt methods for wearing your long hair upon the arrival of the wedding without the need of shedding a couple of inches.

1. Lay it down straight

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Got lovely, stick straight and impeccably gleaming hair? Display it out and don't let the cover out sparkle it. Get a headband type tiara to help shield the strands from straying into your face as you state "I do."

Ensure that your hair won't choke you as the breeze blows or be snared in the beading subtleties of the outfit. Check if the length of the hair won't barge in the outfit's trimmed or style.

2. One-sided

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Breadth the majority of your locks to the other side, contingent upon which side you believe you are most OK with. Just the ladies with long bolts can pull off this look. Extra adornments like a little tiara brush or blossoms can be added to the haircut to give it a little edge and energy.

The hair can be prodded for more volume or twisted at the base for a progressively fantastic look.

3. Sensational twists

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Either by a hair curler or a perm treatment, twists bring out sentiment and body to your wedding look. On the off chance that you are going for the twists to be restricted to the lower half of your hair, the headband tiara still works incredibly as an emphasis.

A touch up may be required if the twists are escaping before the supper has even begun.

4. Half up, half down

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Half dos are perfect in the event that despite everything you need to have your hair down to light up your face yet don't need your grin to be concealed. Some hairdressers can even make a rose, smaller than expected bun or a complete style with your hair at the back. Concerning adornments, an exquisite yet straightforward tiara would work — not excessively but rather sufficiently only to shimmer.

5. The exemplary bun

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Definitely, a major bun over the lady of the hour's hair delegated with a complex wedding tiara is everything necessary. Indeed, long hair might be a waste on the off chance that just kept covered up at the same time, envision the conceivable outcomes all on the grounds that the beauticians inspire a great deal of material to work with.

With the likelihood of interlaces, twirls, circles, prodding and weaving the look of the bun won't be much the same as some other out there. Matched with crowns and tiaras folded over the bun, this great lady of the hour look has been the one you've been longing for since age six.

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How Foods Affect Your Moods

There's a strong connection between our gut and brain, and what you eat affects your mood!

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You've already heard that "you are what you eat," but did you ever think about how food affects your moods? It does, and there's even an entire new area of research called "nutritional psychiatry" that studies this "gut-brain" relationship.

So, what have we learned?

Well, we've learned that most of our serotonin (happy hormone) is actually in our gut, not our brain. Maybe that's why what we eat is now considered a "modifiable risk factor" for depression and anxiety.

That means a healthy diet is linked with a lower risk of mental health issues, and and vice-versa.

So, what should we eat to improve our mood and overall mental health?

A Healthy Diet Is Good for Your Gut & Brain

Well, that doesn't sound very sexy. Anyway, let's define what a "healthy" diet consists of. Basically, a healthy diet should include nutritious and fiber-dense foods for both gut and mental health.

Components of a healthy diet include: Fruits and vegetables, whole grains, legumes, nuts, and seeds, fish, poultry, lean red meat, eggs, and olive oil (not vegetable oil!)

A number of negative reviews online for commercial diets like Nutrisystem seem to have inspired them to focus more on gut health, resulting in increased fiber content in food and optional probiotics with their plans.

Fast Food Is Bad for Mental Health

Foods associated with poor mental health include: processed, sugary, salty, fried, high-fat foods, and sugary drinks. Wow, that pretty much describes the everything on the menu at Mickey-D's! And you thought that the worst thing fast food does is make you obese? No, fast food encourages anxiety and depression, too.

Ever drive through a bad neighborhood and notice how many fast food restaurants there are? The poor diet of people in these areas is directly responsible for both obesity and mental illness, making it even harder to climb out of poverty.

To Improve Your Mood, Skip the "Happy" Meals!

Oh, how I love irony!

Yes, even though ads for burgers, fries, and cola promise happiness, it's just the opposite. Fast food is bad for your mental health, (and clowns are scary!) so skip fast food altogether for better mental and physical health!

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