Let me start off by saying that I have done pageants, literally, my entire life. I am 20 now years old, and I have been competing in pageants since I was seven months old. Obviously, at that age, I didn’t really have a say in whether or not I was going to compete, but as I grew older there was no doubt in my mind about whether or not I wanted to compete in the next pageant that rolled around.

Let me also say that pageants were not always easy. Growing up, it was hard for me to see the other girls walk away with a shiny crown and a big trophy and me not receiving anything. But, that’s also one of my favorite things about pageantry.

After the first couple years, I grew to understand the concept of winning and losing, but it was never an easy lesson to grasp. As I grew up, not walking away with the crown and sash taught me more than I realized at the time.

It taught me that there are other girls who will compete better than me. It taught me that not everyone is going to think I’m the best and people have different opinions of other people. It taught me that I need to learn to be humble, yet confident, about who I am and what my capabilities are.

But most importantly, it taught me to keep my head up and just try harder the next time around. Once I realized all of those things, it made me a stronger competitor, and it made me more motivated to walk away with the crown.

But I didn’t want the crown for artificial reasons. Of course, most girls love having a shiny tiara to wear on their head and play princess with, but holding a title with a pageant system, such as the ones that I have competed in, has a much higher meaning.

It gives me the opportunity to make a difference. It opens doors to things that I may not have had the chance to experience before and that is something that is so special about pageants.

But, of course, winning was always just a bonus, and the best part of the pageant was the actual competition. When I was younger I was extremely shy, and I owe pageants everything for breaking me out of my shell and allowing me to become the confident young lady that I am today. Having to speak on stage in front of hundreds of people and having to answer interview questions one-on-one with the judges since I was just three years old taught me an immense amount about confidence.

The experience allows me, to this day, to feel relaxed and confident in job interviews and to know that I can improvise on the spot if a memorized speech slips my mind.

Aside from the life lessons I’ve been fortunate enough to learn through pageants, I’ve also been blessed with lifelong friendships. These friendships are rare, and I’ve been able to see just how lucky I am for having these lovely ladies placed in my life. When you are experiencing pageant weekend, you create bonds with the girls around you. You are all there for one reason, and yes, while everyone wants to walk away with the crown, the main reason is to better yourselves and meet amazing new people.

I have friends that I'm still in touch with 15 years later, that I met when I was just five years old at pageants. It is an absolutely incredible thing, and it is something that I do not take for granted. There is a certain empowering bond that pageant sisters share, and it is one of my absolute favorite aspects of competing in a pageant. We don’t need to see each other every day to know that we can call each other up just to vent or to ask for advice.

I know that pageants have a negative stereotype attached to them. No, I don’t wear a flipper. No, I don’t wear cupcake dresses. But even if I did, so what?

The pageants that I have competed in since I was a little girl have built up my confidence, taught me lasting life lessons, given me lifelong friendships and above all esle, changed my life.