It’s something we see every day now. Men, feeling threatened by wave after wave of women who have decided not to put up with oppression any longer, are crying out for more attention to be paid to “men’s issues.”

It seems like every time a woman speaks up about her experiences living in a patriarchal society, there are a dozen men waiting to jump onstage and shout over her about men’s rights and feminazi bitches until she’s silenced. Oh, won’t someone please think of the men?

I don’t mean to make light of men’s issues, although I certainly have a right, seeing as men are always making light of the issues women face. I’m not going to deny the fact that men face problems unique to them, either, because they absolutely do.

The problem is that so-called Men’s Rights Activists don’t actually seem interested in helping their fellow man. Rather, they only pop up when a woman dares to tell her story. And then, all of a sudden, they’re shoving college attendance and suicide rates of men down our throats, probably because they know no woman is ever going to let their actual dicks get anywhere near her mouth.

But I won’t deny that men do face specific issues. Men are 3.5 times more likely to die by suicide than women (although there’s some dispute about exactly why this happens) and in general more likely to die young than women. Men are less likely to attend college than women. They are more likely to die on the job than women. There’s no denying that men are facing problems in our society, and have been for a while now.

But while women can easily look at men and say, “You are the oppressor,” men arguably don’t have the same “luxury.” Because men’s issues aren’t a product of being oppressed, but a side effect of their oppression of women.

The patriarchy oppresses women by forcing them to adhere to strict gender roles in which they are passive, emotional creatures. It doesn’t allow for women to take on more “masculine” roles, instead, forcing all men to take on that responsibility, resulting in men who have been taught, from a very early age, that being a man means being aggressive, dominant, and unfeeling. Though men undoubtedly experience benefits from living in a male-dominated society, they are also harmed by being forced into these so-called “alpha male” roles.

Men are supposed to be unfeeling and rational. Therefore, they’re more likely to bottle up their emotions with disastrous results. Men are supposed to be tough and aggressive, which leads to them taking more risks and living more dangerous lives. Men don’t have such strict standards of beauty, nor are they as encouraged to worry about their health, so they think less about what they eat and avoid routine health check-ups.

But all of these problems stem from a larger one, and that is that we live in a society that oppresses women. Naturally, women aren’t okay with this, so we put extra effort into proving we’re just as worthy of dignity and respect of men. Women have had to work so much harder than men just to win the rights we have now, and the battle is far from over. Men don’t experience that same battle, and as a result, they don’t develop the same way. Men lag behind women in college attendance and take on dangerous jobs because they’ve never been forced to prove their worth.

They aren’t asked, every day, to reach unattainable goals. Instead, they assume they can skate by because they are so rarely required to do anything but the bare minimum. And this is the real war being waged on men. We aren’t asking enough of them, instead being content to let them wallow in their self-pity and continue leading their self-destructive lifestyles.

You see, it isn’t that no one is thinking about men. It’s that men can’t admit that the patriarchy hurts them just as it hurts women. It’s easier to blame powerful women than to admit that the power men have been hoarding for centuries is hurting them, too.

Feminism may have started as a way to further women’s rights, but it has evolved into so much more than that, encompassing not just women’s rights, but civil rights in general. Boys, I promise you, women are thinking about your issues as much as you are. The difference being that we’re actually taking steps to improve things.