Remember middle school? Of course you do.

If grades six through eight weren't a cluster of BO-saturated teenage boys, and girls experimenting with eyeliner and ribbed Hollister tanks, then you probably peaked in middle school and I feel sorry for you.

One of the questions that sends me back to those dark days of my preteen youth is, "are you mad at me?" because I heard it all the time. This was before someone could just subtweet their frustrations and get it over with.

I cannot stand that question. Even at the tender age of twelve, we were a more eloquent species than that. Asking if someone is mad at them is whiny at best.

Not only that, it is not a conducive argument. Anyone who asks that question is not recognizing the present condition of that person's emotions; it is an internal struggle materializing as a dumb inquiry.

"Are you mad at me?"
"I wasn't before you asked me that. Jump off a bridge, Darla."

To add insult to this already offensive question, some people take it a step further and assume someone is mad at them. Tacking a 'why' on the front of the question does nothing but warrant a fake answer, or worse, the age-old response of "I'm not mad at you."

"Why are you mad at me?"
"Because you have the vocabulary of a Bop-It, Darla."

I'm going to help out here. Instead of making this an egocentric question, try shifting the focus to a broader field. Ask why your friend is mad in general. That'll really grind their gears, in the most loving way!

"Why are you mad?"
"I'm mad because you were named after a demon toddler with braces from Finding Nemo, Darla."

Instead of resorting to dialogue that is indigenous to Degrassi, try an even less self-centered approach. Try not to be too harsh, though.

"Hey, what's wrong with you?"
"It's not about what's wrong with me, it's about what's wrong at me. Like your question, Darla."

Ensuring a friend is doing okay is a reasonable and fine to do; just be sure to have a tactical approach.

"It seems like something is bothering you, and I'm here if you need me."
"Thanks Darla. Actually, something is bothering me. Are you mad at me?"