The Problem With 'Not Like Other Girls'

The Problem With 'Not Like Other Girls'

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You’re out on a first date with a guy, and everything seems to be going perfectly. He’s sweet, polite, and lends you his jacket when it starts getting a little chilly out. You’re enamored, he’s enamored, and the night just keeps getting better. Just as it seems he can do no wrong, he says it. The one thing that makes you pause and think, “Wait, what?” He turns to you, smiling, and then he opens his mouth and lets loose those five little words that cast a shadow on the whole evening: “You’re not like other girls.”

At first you take it as a compliment. You laugh demurely and tell him thanks. It isn’t until you get home later and replay the evening several times in your head that you realize just how wrong those five little words really are. “You’re not like other girls.” Not like other girls? What does that even mean?

In my experience, "not like other girls" is the phrase that misguided men use to compliment a girl when they really don't want to go out of their way to find and compliment an actual quality of the girl they're seeing. "Not like other girls" is a thinly-veiled dig at every other girl but the one on the receiving end this so-called "compliment." So why is not being like other girls considered a good thing?

After doing some less-than-scientific research, or asking around and polling my Facebook friends, I found a trend in what people think "not like other girls" means. Though there were a few who were very self-aware and responded that "not like other girls" is a superficial compliment, most others found it to mean that someone isn't catty, dramatic, or "basic". To that notion, I offer this concept:

There is no wrong way of being a girl.

Personally, I'd be glad to receive the compliment that I'm "like other girls." Girls are amazing, and I'm proud to be one. There's not one specific, acceptable way of being a girl, and when people use the phrase "not like other girls," it puts us all in a box and implies that certain types of girls are better than others because maybe they don't shop at certain stores or wear a full face of makeup every day.

Something else that I noticed was that a lot of the negative definitions of the phrase were given by women, which I was disappointed to see. "Not like other girls" pits us all against one another, and creates the illusion among us that we don't want to be like that girl just because she looks or acts a certain way. But what's wrong with that? What's wrong with having similarities between us?

Accepting the phrase "not like other girls" into our vernacular is admitting that certain ways of expressing yourself as a woman are inherently wrong. So I challenge every single person to respond to the classic "You're not like other girls" with this simple question: Why?

Addressing the issue at the root of it is the only way to change people's thinking. Maybe that one "why?" will make someone reevaluate the way they think about what it means to be a girl, and who these "other girls" truly are, beyond a way to measure a woman's character.

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The Trump Presidency Is Over

Say hello to President Mike Pence.

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Remember this date: August 21, 2018.

This was the day that two of President Donald Trump's most-important associates were convicted on eight counts each, and one directly implicated the president himself.

Paul Manafort was Trump's campaign chairman for a few months in 2016, but the charges brought against him don't necessarily implicate Trump. However, they are incredibly important considering was is one of the most influential people in the Trump campaign and picked Mike Pence to be the vice presidential candidate.

Manafort was convicted on five counts of tax fraud, two counts of bank fraud, and one count of failure to file a report of a foreign bank account. And it could have been even worse. The jury was only unanimous on eight counts while 10 counts were declared a mistrial.

Michael Cohen, Trump's personal lawyer, told a judge that Trump explicitly instructed him to break campaign-finance laws by paying two women not to publicly disclose the affairs they had with Trump. Those two women are believed to be Karen McDougal, a Playboy model, and Stormy Daniels, a pornstar. Trump had an affair with both while married to his current wife, Melania.

And then to no surprise, Fox News pundits spun this in the only way they know how. Sara Carter on Hannity said that the FBI and the Department of Justice are colluding as if it's some sort of deep-state conspiracy. Does someone want to tell her that the FBI is literally a part of the DOJ?

The Republican Party has for too long let Trump get away with criminal behavior, and it's long past time to, at the very least, remove Mr. Trump from office.

And then Trump should face the consequences for the crimes he has committed. Yes, Democrats have a role, too. But Republicans have control of both chambers of Congress, so they head every committee. They have the power to subpoena Trump's tax returns, which they have not. They have the power to subpoena key witnesses in their Russia investigations, which they have not.

For the better part of a year I have been asking myself what is the breaking point with Republicans and Trump. It does not seem like there is one, so for the time being we're stuck with a president who paid off two women he had an affair with in an attempt to influence a United States election.

Imagine for a second that any past president had done even a fraction of what Trump has.

Barack Obama got eviscerated for wearing a tan suit. If he had affairs with multiple women, then Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell would be preparing to burn him at the stake. If they won't, then Trump's enthusiastic would be more than happy to do so.

For too long we've been saying that Trump is heading down a road similar to Nixon, but it's evident now that we're way past that point. Donald Trump now has incriminating evidence against him to prove he's a criminal, and Special Counsel Robert Mueller is just getting started.

Will Trump soften the blow and resign in disgrace before impeachment like Nixon did? Knowing his fragile ego, there's honestly no telling what he'll do. But it's high time Trump leaves an office he never should have entered in the first place.

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Stop Cussing Damn It!

Why society needs to be less aggressive in response to foul language.

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Well shit, here we go again. In a world of constantly changing language in our everyday society, we need to take a step back on the censorship of words. Foul or vulgar language is frowned upon in most social settings, more specifically in public settings. Language has been created for us to communicate with one another. The fact that there is a whole group of words that are completely disregarded because they are "Cruel" or "Unnecessary" strike me as odd. Language and lexicon was created to allow each person to freely express themselves, their feelings and ideas, openly to everyone. Words like damn, shit, hell, and phrases like son of a bitch and fuck off are overly addressed as negative and foul.

As with any way of speaking, it is all about your deliverance of such language. Yes, is directing a "Fuck you" openly to someone in public a great idea, not really. But, in a general context, there shouldn't be a censorship on such phrases. If these types of words are not being used in derogatory ways, then I see no issue with them. Words help express us and our emotions. Foul language can emphasize our excitement, frustration, or anger with any situation. These words and phrases are just the natural evolution of our language. More so, there is a huge acceptance gap generation to generation.

This acceptance gap is huge from Generation X to Generation Y, or the Millennials, and even more of a gap with Generation Z. Things that offend Gen Y and are disgraced by Gen X don't always phase Gen Z individuals. Saying shit and damn have become natural filler words, sometimes used as verbs, most of the time as adjectives. It's actually quite interesting to hear people from different generations speak. Most people nowadays don't even register how much they swear because of how natural it is to them. I myself cuss a lot, a part of me in what society has labeled as a "bad habit".

Cussing, swearing, using foul language, or however you want to label it, is just something that has been integrated into our society more and more. Like anything, the time and place should always be taken into consideration before dropping words like bitch and fuck, but most of the time there isn't a bad time to speak with these choice words. Another thing is, if society accepted, and even mainstreamed, words that are frowned upon into natural conversation, they no longer would hold much power. If everyone "talked dirty" or used a "foul mouth" all the time, then no one would be cursing. We would all be simply speaking.

We as humans are constantly witnessing change. Our language has been changing and evolving since the very first grunt in history. We will continue to evolve our language and words that are viewed as "bad" now probably wont even be spoken by the end of the century. There will always be "bad words" and sayings that can be taken offense to, but like stated earlier, it's all about deliverance. I say who gives a shit, go ahead and cuss all the damn time, I don't give a fuck. Nothing in that sentence is rude or offensive. Is it the most professional sentence? No, of course it isn't, but nonetheless, sentences like that shouldn't be disapproved by society. We, as a society, should embrace the way our language and communication levels are evolving, and if we properly teach people how and when to use such "disgraceful phrases", there won't be an issue.

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