I am quite possibly the most honest person in the universe. I am so honest that it almost rubs people the wrong way. Confrontational might as well be my middle name. I say what's on my mind and I don't always say it gracefully. And in my almost 19 years of living, I've come to realize that most people absolutely hate this. It's why a lot of girls hate being friends with me and why a lot of boys do like being friends with me. It's why some of my boyfriend's friends really don't like me. It's why more often than not I make a terrible first impression in social situations while simultaneously being the reason why I have absolutely obliterated (in a good way) every job interview I've ever been in. But, I've made the conscious decision in not changing this aspect of myself and my terribly blunt personality is something I take pride in.
I absolutely hate lying. I find it one of the most inconvenient things people do. Maybe it's because I'm impatient and I want to solve problems quickly and efficiently. It's also partially because I find that lying takes more energy than not lying. I find it incredibly difficult to hold onto something that's really been bothering me and more often than not, it isn't even in my favor to lie.
The biggest reason why I hate lying is because I seriously hate being lied to. I know this is a super common pet peeve but I think I hate it on a different level. I take most things well. There are few things that someone can tell me, as long as it's honest, that will make me so pissed that I can't even look at them anymore. The few times in my life where I've felt real betrayal was when someone hid something from me. Like when the time this guy in my life did something really shitty but didn't say anything about it until literal (not the millennial use of literal, the real use of literal) months later. What he did was on my top 10 worst things people have ever done to me list, a line crossed, but I think what really made it worse is that he didn't even have the balls to own up to it.
There have only been a few occasions in my life in which lying to me or others is actually helpful. Like when I was a kid and my mom told me the food would be ready in a few minutes when in reality it would be ready in like thirty. A real parenting move because I would totally lose track of time and the thirty minutes would actually feel like a few. Or when my acne was terrible and my parents told me I was still cute, even though I can promise you I wasn't. But more often than not, lying usually makes the other person look foolish.
Think about it. Your friend looks absolutely stupid in the outfit they picked out. They ask you how they look and you tell them they look great because they seem so excited about the outfit. They walk out of the house looking like an idiot, and you let them. That's cruel. I would only do that to someone I actually don't care about.
Okay, how about something deeper? Like, for example, you're super pissed about something your friend keeps doing. And when asked about it, you say it's fine and your friend believes you. Instead of saying something, you let it boil over until you chew them out about it and your poor friend had absolutely no idea what was going on.
Most of us are under the impression that lying helps to protect ourselves and others around us. The whole concept of the "white lie" is something that a lot of people live by. But I ask you to question how many times lying actually did that for you. How many times did you lie and think "wow, that was really in my favor" and it didn't backfire in your face? I bet you five dollars, that I don't actually have, that out of the probably millions of times you have lied by now, under 20% were actually in your favor. That's a poor statistic.
I recognize that this specific personality trait of mine can be viewed as problematic or even confusing to a lot of people. But, I will say that it's made me feel way more at peace. Not having to hide my truths, has lifted an incredibly large source of anxiety off my shoulders. I wouldn't say I'm an expert at making friends or anything but maybe if we were all a little more honest (probably not as honest as me, it's gotten to a point of fault now), our relationships with other people would be a little more solid.