At this moment in time, I am writing this live from the first night out that I have had all summer long. I am wearing lavish makeup, my hair is made up, and I am wearing my “fancy” outfit, which is just nicer clothes that I wouldn’t normally wear. I am also sporting heels. I look like a put-together, hot mess. I also feel like a hot mess that just wants to let go and have some fun. Spend the night out in the city, make out with the next random hottie I see, and my characteristics have altered. I feel like someone else, and honestly, I love it.

I know that tomorrow morning when I wake up, I will recall how I felt and go “Jesus, who was that”? This is what happens when I combine the power of makeup and certain clothing choices, and then go out for a certain event. Put it all together and bam, I am transformed. I become this character that I have created; I become someone different.

As of tonight, I don’t feel as reserved as I normally am: I am a lot more flirtatious and I feel like some tipsy party girl. But without the alcohol. Unfortunately, tonight wasn’t too eventful of a night. It was just a goodbye dinner with friends, wishing off part of my squad as they make their way back to school. But it was a good excuse to dress up and paint my face for the first time in a very long time.

After the face has been beat and the clothes go on, I slowly slip into the personality of the character that my ensemble has created. It’s amazing and it’s powerful. I wonder if this is how actors get into character. This also happens when I cosplay, and it’s common to hear drag queens and other cosplayers feel this way. They see this character slowly come to life in front of their eyes, and the finishing product is not themselves, but someone else. And it’s not a negative feeling either.

On a daily basis over the summer, I am usually wearing one of three outfits: my work uniform, my other work uniform or sweats because I am exhausted and finally home. I work as a lifeguard and on a farm, so there is no room for looking nice. I mean I don’t mind it, but just after a while you don’t feel pretty. Like I will admit that I am an attractive person, but wearing something nicer and making myself up just makes me feel more like myself. I feel more confident and I feel like I can be myself more or express different parts of me that normally aren’t on display very often.

Transformations are powerful and I feel like they are beneficial. You learn something about yourself. You feel like you can freely act certain ways. To be someone else for a short period of time is almost decompressing or relieving. An short escape from the reality you are facing even sometimes.