The screenshot was an accident or at least that is what I told you. I was in shock when you contacted me after I made a small comment on your Instagram photo. I wondered what went through your head. What made you think that it was okay to reach out to me. I wondered why it was through snapchat. You know that disappears right? Did you know what your message did to me? You having the nerve to ask how my life is going. Are you kidding? You didn’t care then so why did you care now? If you were trying to be nice, well then I can get that but with you I never know. It may have been years since it all went down but I haven’t forgotten. I may have moved on with my life but I remember. I remember it all. How you made me feel, the words you said. The way you smiled. The way you laughed. I can picture your smile and hear your laugh. You have no idea how much you hurt me. You never cared. You know how long it took me to get over you. You know how long? When I am sure it took you no time at all. Did I ever even matter to you? When I saw your message, It all came rushing back to me. I was angry and miserable all over again like nothing had changed. All of the work that I had done to get myself past it went away. I was right back to where I started all those years ago. I felt like I was sitting back in my dorm room crying my self to sleep wondering what I could have done wrong and why you don’t care. I had it bad for you. I was so far in that I couldn’t see a way out. You were all I thought about. I spent so much time thinking you felt the same way and then you didn’t and sure I was used to that but it still hurt. My life is better without you in it. That was the first thing I thought once I was able to get myself together. I realized that I didn't need you. I never have. I am stronger and wiser for not having you around. I don’t hate you as much anymore but I am still angry at you. I am angry for you basically stringing me along making me into someone that I never care to be again. I hated myself so much when we were friends. You made me question every little detail about myself and constantly made me feel like I was worthless. You also were able to build me up so fast and then within the same second tear me right back down with your words. I really wish you could understand what you did and how insensitive it was of you to reach out to me after all of this time. I wish you knew. I wish you cared. I wish I never met you. I wish that none of it had ever happened at all. I hate that I miss you sometimes and I hate even more that I just admitted that. I think about letting you back in but then I see just how big of a mistake that would be.

sincerely,

the girl who didn’t forget.