A kid’s job should be simple - growing up should be about playing with your friends, going to school, and spending time with family. You should be learning who you are and what you like. Instead, I spent my time searching for your approval. And instead of approval, I felt like I was constantly disappointing you, when I had done nothing wrong.

I was always a high achiever, but your lack of enthusiasm made my accomplishments feel completely diminished. When I started taking college classes while I was still in high school, my teachers and classmates were so excited and proud. Meanwhile, you came up with every excuse you could to talk me out of it. I didn’t understand why then, and I still don’t. Who doesn’t want the best for their kids?

Everything I wanted to pursue was a problem to you. Drama club, marching band, you name it - they were all out of the question. You would come up with whatever reason you could to tell me no, but it always came down to the same thing: you couldn’t be bothered to pick me up from practices, or volunteer with the other parents who support those endeavors.

Maybe you didn’t realize how harmful your attitude would be to my self esteem. If my own parent can’t love and support me, or be excited about my accomplishments, how could I expect anyone else to do it either? Best friends, boyfriends, and teachers tell me they’re so proud, or impressed, but it’s still hard to believe - because of you.

You inadvertently taught me a single lesson growing up - that my own validation is the only thing that matters. My accomplishments are for me, and not for those around me. I should be proud of myself regardless of what others say. Some days, it’s hard to remember that; I am almost done with college, and I still seek your enthusiasm, even though I know it isn’t there.

You don’t get to take the credit for my achievements now. I should feel no guilt for keeping your name out of graduation speeches and thank yous. I am proud of myself, and thankful for those around me that have helped me reach my goals; the friends, professors, and family members that did everything they could to help me succeed.

I can thank you for only one thing: learning to appreciate my own success, and be proud of myself no matter what others say.