The first time this happened, I was young and stubborn and angry. I was officially graduated from high school and my opportunity to go to college went straight through my fingers. I mean, not completely but the option to go to the school I wanted was no longer an option, so obviously my 18-year-old life was coming to an end. I was not only frustrated but I was embarrassed to the point that I didn’t know if I even wanted to pursue my goals at the time. I didn’t want people to think that I really wanted the things that I did because I didn’t want them to know how much it mattered to me if I failed, and it seemed that I have always been on a slippery slope of failure.
You see, there are some people that things just happen for—it just works out and flows in their favor. I am not one of those. I have been so lucky and blessed with crazy opportunities and people in my life, but things never seem to just happen for me like they did for most of my friends.
While many breezed through high school, sports, dances and games without a thought, I worked as many hours a week as possible to stay on the cheer squad. Proms meant picking up any extra shifts at one of my jobs or the other, getting my license meant three jobs during the summer to pay for a car, and graduating brought so much fear of where my life would go. I’ve watched friends glide through these phases with a carefree spirit and come out unscathed and set-up for their continued success. They go to school, land jobs and guys, and here I am—three years ahead and ten steps behind many of them, and it still just doesn’t happen for me.
It just doesn’t work. But I’m ready to.
Things all seem to be slipping again and sometimes I am faced with a very real and tangible fear that this is going to be my life—ever over-planning and coming up short, working at Starbucks and shaking off a persistent feeling that this isn’t my life, this isn’t it.
There are some people that things just happen for, and that is amazing, but if you’re reading this and relate, we aren’t them. But we can make things happen. It’s never ideal, it looks messy and chaotic and it’s humbling in a way that makes you want to throw your covers over your head and sleep until your next shift starts but don’t stop. Don’t let embarrassment or failure stop you from chasing what you want and getting where you know you need to go. Maybe it’ll look like taking a few steps back, maybe people will laugh, maybe they will think we just did it wrong and hey, maybe sometimes we did, but not in the long run. Humility and hustle make things happen, and my friend, it’s going to happen for you. Keep going.