I've been so heartbroken I stopped eating. I couldn't get out of bed. I would cry myself to sleep every night and didn't want to wake up, because my dreams were better than my reality. My chest physically hurt. I would cry in the bathroom stalls between classes, in my car every time I drove anywhere, every time I took a shower. I didn't listen to music for weeks because I either related to the pain, or I hated hearing about love. I didn't hang out with any of my friends who were in a relationship because I didn't want to see them do relationship-related things. I looked for relief at the bottom of bottles and let my heart grow cold. I stopped caring and grew numb to any emotion except for pain. Storm clouds grew over my world, the sunshine could never break through, it rained constantly and I couldn't find an escape. I sat in my darkness and despair and suffered.

But then one night, when I laid my head on my pillow, I didn't cry. I honestly didn't know if I was all-cried-out, or if I was healing, but that night I took my first step in the right direction. From that night on, I started to get better. I would cry less when I was alone, until eventually I didn't cry anymore. I found myself smiling for no reason, I could listen to the radio again without sobbing. I started going out with my friends again, and stopped searching for relief in all the wrong places. I pushed the clouds away on my own, and found how to love myself.

There are a few things I wish somebody told me when I was sitting in my rainstorm, but nobody ever said them to me. So, here I am, little trooper. I'm going to be the one to tell you everything you need to hear. You might not like it, but you need to hear it anyway.

Do not let the love of somebody else define who you are. You do not have to like what they like, go where they go, or do what they do. They do not have a say in what you wear, how you act, where you go, or who you talk to. You are your own person. They should love you for WHO YOU ARE, not who they want or created you to be. They didn't love you for you, that's why they hurt you. So why are you letting somebody who treats you less than you are worth DEFINE who you are? Take your story into your own hands and erase what they created you to be. This is your story, rewrite your definition to whatever you want it to be.

You should love yourself more than you love them. Just because they are gone now does not mean your life is over. YOU still exist. You can be you without them. You should be able to love yourself, love who you are, and keep on keeping on with your damn life. Look at everything you have accomplished, look at all the OTHER people in your life who love you! You are a masterpiece of perfection that God created with his own two hands. You are perfect. I know, "your life revolved around them, you don't know how to survive without them in your life, they are everywhere you go and in everything you do. Its hard to just keep going without them in your life." I know, I get it. I said it too. But, you have too keep going now. There is no other option. You have to learn to love yourself, because you're damn perfect and you don't need anyone else to love you for you.

Do not go crawling back. No, crawling back is not another option. That person did not choose you. LOOK at what they did to you. You do not deserve what is happening to you. You deserve somebody who chooses you, hands down, without fail, every single time. You deserve somebody who doesn't "need time to figure it out," or "want to be single," or "needs a break." Because those are all cop outs. If they REALLY love you, they wouldn't want to play the single game or have time away from you. Have respect for yourself, and leave that person in the past.

They might not realize what they lost. I said it a million times when I was heartbroken, and you're probably saying it too. "He'll realize what he did to me and care. He'll see how horrible of a person he was. He'll come back to me when he see's I'm the best for him. I'll just wait for him to realize what he lost." But the reality of it was that I was wrong. He did see what he did to me, but he didn't take responsibility for it. He didn't care. His apologies were words with no meaning. I wasted time on somebody who took the world away from me instead of dedicating my time to somebody who handed me the world. I deserved so much more and accepted so much less. And if you're right and they come crawling back, soak that moment in and then turn them away. As hard as it might be and as bad as you might want to take them back, you do not deserve what they did to you. You are better than that. Second chances aren't a thing, only something that will hurt you again. Can you really love somebody when they stopped loving you? When they stopped caring about you? When they did this to you?

Stop jumping oceans for somebody who wouldn't even jump a puddle for you. What they are doing to you right now should show you that they don't care as much as you do. So stop caring about them. Stop treating them better than they are treating you. I'm not saying to stoop to their level, I'm saying to stop all together. Cut them out of your life. Block them on everything, take a different route on campus, ask your friends to stop talking about them, delete the pictures from your phone. It's better for you in the long run.

You will find somebody who will love you more than you can handle. Stop looking for love, stop chasing your heartbreaker, stop searching for relief at the bottom of the bottle or from whatever bad habit you have picked up. Stop. Learn to love yourself. Because I promise you, there is somebody out there who will never do this to you. There is somebody out there who will help you pick up your pieces and put them back together. There is somebody out there who will treat you how you deserve, who will fall in love with you so hard you won't even think its possible. They will choose you first, every time, without a question. You will always be number one, hands down. Wait for that person, keep them in your prayers. Because they're out there and they're ready to love you.

All this pain happened to you for a reason. To help you grow, to teach you a lesson, and to get you ready for what's next. After everything I went through, I found my person. I found my happiness, the person who makes my soul smile, the person that chooses me every time. I found my relief when I learned to love myself, and then I found the person to take that love and multiply it. I've been where you are, I know how hard it hurts. But I promise you, it gets better. And one day, when you find that person, call me so I can say "I told you so."

Until then, hang in there. Remember, you're worth the world.