The One Where It's Okay To Fail
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

The One Where It's Okay To Fail

My whole life, I've been trying harder.

4
The One Where It's Okay To Fail
Unsplash

My whole life, I've been running from failure.

It started in middle school. All of my friends started testing out of classes into honors programs, so I tried harder. I didn't particularly care about my academic prowess, but I couldn't let myself fail because I didn't want to get left in the dust. I read faster, wrote more, and pushed harder so I wouldn't be left behind.

In high school, it got even more intense. Classes got harder, so I pushed myself more to be a part of the first sophomores in our school's history to take AP classes. My friends got better ACT scores and grades, so I made myself try harder to catch up again. I spoke louder, smiled more, and stayed up later so I wouldn't be left behind.

I joined choir and drama because it seemed like that was the place to be accepted regardless of whether you tried or not. However, that revealed itself as more pressure than anything I had felt. Before, I only had to get into a faster academic track, and once you got in, you stayed. Choir meant audition after audition, evaluation after evaluation, failure after failure. You had to put yourself out there again and again and again, and each time, you knew there was some way you could be better. After a while, it wasn't even the people around me that expected perfection, it was the music itself. After all, if I should come even close to being worthy of some of the genius we were singing, I couldn't allow myself to fail. I breathed deeper, practiced more, and sang sweeter so I wouldn't be left behind.

And then I came here.

All of the people who I knew expected perfection from me were gone. I found more people, and because I've been running from failure my whole life, I thought they expected success too. I didn't know what they wanted, so I threw everything I was into being this perfect person. I expected perfection from them, because I assumed they expected perfection from me. So I read faster, wrote more, pushed harder, spoke louder, smiled more, stayed up later, breathed deeper, practiced more, sang sweeter, expected more, fell harder, crumbled quickly.

And then I broke. And I no longer even resembled even the facade of perfection. I tripped, fell, and thought everyone would leave me behind.

But that didn't happen. Instead, the people around me stopped, slowed down, and came back for me. Slowly, I realized that everyone else was cracked and broken. They expected perfection of themselves, and, just like me, failed. I began to look at myself more carefully, and then a small idea that had been running after me as long as I had been running away from failure crashed into my head.

Failing is okay. We all deal with our demons. We are human, and that means ALL OF US MAKE MISTAKES. Trying hard is not a bad thing, but some things cannot be achieved by trying more. In fact, I've been thinking, that the best things are not the things that force you to try harder to get to them. It's the things that stick around and stay the same and love you no matter what grade you get, or what part you play, or how many people think you're the most important, or how many times you fail. We all have the right to our struggles, and failure. is. okay.


Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

44623
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

28109
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

952816
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

154311
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments