Many of you may be able to relate to this and some of you not so much. I’m super lucky to not have had my parents hand me everything growing up. Don’t get me wrong, that would be extremely cool, but I’ve learned a lot about the real world because of this.

To The “Spoiled” One,

I feel sorry for you. I truly do.

Okay, yes, I’ll be honest: for one millisecond of my life, I was actually jealous of you and a number of material things you had handed to you. However, that feeling quickly subsided and has yet to return to me. For in that brief moment of jealousy, I realized that you will never be able to do what I, and so many others in the world, skillfully do. Survive. Because while you are receiving gifts of tuition, cars (with insurance), cell phones, food/water, and anything else your heart could desire, we are working for them. We are working countless part-time jobs, studying as a full-time student, and trying to have a personal life all the while managing our Starbucks addictions. We are constantly budgeting our money, making sure we have enough to pay for the month as well as putting gas in our, more than likely, used cars. We are frequently thinking about budgeting and if we will be able to provide for ourselves. We are conscious of the difference between want and need and have learned the self-control to tell ourselves "no" when it just is not necessary to have. (It is hard, but it can be done!)

I am not angry that things are handed to you. In fact, I applaud you that you have parents or guardians that can afford to do that for you and I hope you are eternally grateful. No, what frustrates me and so many other working students is that you lump yourselves in with us. You attempt to relate to how hard we work and at the same time, complain that your life is just, “so unfair.” Since you do not know what a struggle life can actually be, you take parts of everyday life and magnify them to the utmost in order to connect with those that actually struggle. You take what most would consider a fairy tale and dilute it to try and make a nightmare out of it. Life should not be about who has endured the most pain or heartache. Life should be about thanking God that he has woken you up this morning, that you have air in your lungs, and are not living in a real nightmare.

When I was younger I didn’t pay much attention to this, but when I got into high school, it was challenging. I couldn’t always go out with my friends or get the newest stuff and it was annoying. I complained a lot because I thought it “just wasn’t fair,” but as I got older I came to realize that it is better to earn what you have and not have everything handed to you.

I got a job at the ripe age of 15 at the local summer camp in my town for three weeks, which I am working at again this July. I turned 16 the next year and I applied at Saint Francis Residential Community, where I am currently working. I also began babysitting. My mom does buy things for me, but not everything, and I am grateful for what she does. Being able to have a job and support my own basic needs has taught me how to become more independent, responsible, and aware.

I learned the true value of a dollar. At fifteen, I was making my own money and paying for things I needed and wanted. I would be very appreciative that I earned the money I did. You learn a lot from earning your own money and not always having to ask for ten bucks here and there. With having several things to pay for, I learned how to manage and budget my money. I can most definitely say that I learned that I couldn’t spend all my earnings on clothes and shoes.

But perhaps those of us that take our lumps and do not complain just have a higher tolerance for life. Perhaps we were taught the difference between having things handed to us versus working for what we want. Or, perhaps we just know that life could actually be way worse than it is and we are grateful that we have the opportunities we do and make the most out of them all. Either way, I hope if you take the time to read this, you think hard about your life and are truly thankful for what you have.

Sincerely,

Someone who actually earns what she has.

P.S. Being given something does not mean you earned it; it means someone thought highly of you enough to do something nice for you so please do not take credit for someone else’s thoughtfulness. It is tacky.