i'd hate to bother you, but i have to ask,

"have you been okay?"

i have to ask if you've been okay.

when i think of you

which is almost daily

i don't just think of you

i don't just vaguely picture your features from the last time i saw your face and think

"i wonder how he's doing"

and move on like a normal person

when i think of you

i see your figure

i see your features- down to the smallest pores on the tip of your nose and your shortest eyelash that sits on your inner corner

but not the way i remember them

your eyes are sunken- you haven't gotten much sleep

they don't shine the way i remember

your skin looks rough, almost as if you've let yourself go

when i think of you

which is almost daily

i can't help but feel that you are nowhere near okay

i can't help but feel my stomach drop and feel nauseous as the wave of sadness hits me

when i think of you

when i think of you standing with your hands placed in front of you, thumbs, pointer fingers and middle fingers touching while your ring fingers and pinkies rest on the table underneath.

i don't recognize the person i see

i don't recognize the person i see when i think of you and i burst into tears for reasons that i could never explain to someone who has never had to watch the person they deeply care about fall apart just by

thinking about them.