The weather gets colder and the trees start to lose their leaves. The leaves are slowly dying and the branches can no longer bear the extra weight as the lively greens turn to browns and float to the ground. Kind of poetic isn't it?

Well maybe not for you.

For those who struggle with seasonal affective disorder (S.A.D.) it is far too relatable to just be poetic. With S.A.D. it goes more like this: the weather gets colder and your body starts to feel more tense. The wind that is the final push of the leaves off the branches is just like the trigger that is the final shove of the tears from your eyes. The tears fall to the ground and you can't make sense of it all. Just last week you were running around in the sunshine laughing and now you can't even pin point the pain. Each day feels like another obligation pushing down on your chest and your friends start to ask you "what's wrong?"

Your mom calls it "The October Crash"

Your best of friends have learned to ignore your efforts to push them away. Your calls to mom become an expectation because S.A.D. is just making you too sad to be away from home. You've always been the type to cycle through friends- nobody has ever understood why. "I don't get it they're the worst for leaving you, you're such a good friend"

You understand why.

You know that there is a pattern, you make friends around March, the end of February if you're lucky.. they stick around, but after the summer months as October starts to approach you subconsciously push them away, you cut them out. Yes you cling to a certain few but your loud and boisterous self begins to seem unsure. You begin to crawl back into your shell.

As the leaves begin to fall as do the tears.