It took moving 2,500 miles away from home to realize that half of the things that I know about this world and about my life, I know because of my older sister. She has a whopping 4 years on me, and those 4 years have made the biggest difference in my life. Her experiences in life have shaped her into one of the kindest, quirkiest, funniest people that I know and in turn, has helped me shape my own life. Here are the five most important life lessons I have learned over the years from my big sister:

1. Create your own opinions about people

The most important lesson I have learned from my big sister, as well as something that has made the biggest positive impact in my life, is to never hold a judgement against someone unless they have given me a personal reason to hold it. When I find myself in a situation where someone is talking negatively about someone else, especially when I don’t know the person, I always respond with “I don’t know them so I have no way of having any opinions on them.” It may be small and seem obvious, but it is easy to find yourself agreeing with those around you about a person, whether or not you know them. This wasn’t necessarily something that she ever directly taught me, it was something that I have learned over the years by listening to her respond that way when someone who may not be liked by others gets brought up.

2. You don’t have to look like everyone else

My sister is by far one of the most unique people that I know. She is funny and goofy and goes out of her way to be a good person to those around her. She could care less if her Birkenstock slippers, high socks, running shorts and t-shirt are not the typical everyday fashion statement; she rocks it! I’m not going to lie, sometimes leaving the house without makeup on can be challenging for me and there are times where I annoy her and ask her if what I am wearing looks okay or not. Over time, however, I have learned just how loved she is by everyone around her and I have realized that one of the things that they love most is that her main focus is on the wellbeing of others and not whether or not her hair is tamed that day or her socks match her outfit. Now, that’s not to say she doesn’t know how to dress it up because let me tell you, that girl knows how to rock a t-shirt dress and booties!

3. Be involved

When I decided that I was going to transfer to a big four year university, one of the biggest lessons my sister implemented in my head was to be involved. She told me that it didn’t matter what I decided to be involved in, as long as it was something I care about. Every time I joined an organization, such as my sorority and my school newspaper, I called her up to let her know because I knew that she would be proud. Getting involved at school has made the whole transition a lot easier for me and to be quite honest, I wouldn’t have joined as many clubs and organizations if it wasn’t for my sister.

4. Talk to strangers

Ok, this sounds a lot creepier than it is. One thing that I have noticed about my sister, which is something that she got from my dad but that I got from her, is that she has the ability to strike up a conversation with just about anyone. Whether it is her uber driver, a cashier, a waiter, or anyone walking down the street, she has a personality that attracts just about everyone that comes in contact with her. It’s admiring, really. Over the years, I have found myself talking to people who I normally wouldn’t try to strike up a conversation with. I love meeting people who are incredibly shy and finding ways to get them to open up. This is probably one of the best lessons I have learned from my sister, and one that has gotten me the farthest in life.

5. Sometimes, life is hard

When moving away to school, I didn’t necessarily think that I was going to have as many hardships as I have had in the last few months. From medical to social to academics, I have had my bumps in the road. There is nothing more reassuring than the phone calls that I make to my sister whenever I am facing any of these issues. “Chlo, ______ happens to just about everyone, and that’s ok.” A phrase that is so small and simplistic is just the phrase that I need to hear every time. Most of what I have gone through, she has gone through. There is no better feeling in the world than being able to talk to someone so close to you who understands what you’re going through and knows what to say every time.

To be entirely honest, I never realized how much I depend on my sister for the knowledge and kindness that she has. I may not tell her often enough how much everything she does for me means to me, but she knows it. She may never admit that she misses me, but that doesn’t stop my mom from calling me to let me know that my she won’t stop talking about me coming home for spring break. So, this one is for you Lindsey. You have done more for me than I will ever be able to express in words.