A constant irritant in my life has always been that I don’t have a boyfriend. Being a junior in college I assumed I would have a serious relationship, but here we are in 2018 and I do not.

I’d blame it on the holiday season for reminding me of my single status but honestly, it is something that I am reminded of ALL the time.

Over the Christmas break, I just assumed I would be thinking the same thoughts I usually do: “one day I’ll have a relationship, I’m sure the right person is out there and just kidding he probably doesn’t exist." Instead, I actually had an epiphany when I was talking about this with my older sister Rachel.

As I went into my usual spiel of telling her that I try not to look for anyone but it inevitably happens she stopped me in my tracks and enlightened me on the time she stopped looking.

I know, I know where you think this article is headed but instead of telling me about how when she stopped looking she found the one she told me about how when she stopped looking she grew as a person. Not that she hadn’t been happy already but once her focus shifted she began realizing some things about herself and she started to learn what she wanted to find in a spouse. After a while, when she least expected it she found the one, my awesome brother in law Brandon, but that wasn’t the point of our conversation.

But, here’s a way less sophisticated way of telling it:

The years you get in college and the few after are incredibly crucial to developing who you are. For lack of a better phrase, these are the most “selfish” years of your life — the “me” years. Basically, as a single, you can go and do as you please without having to consult someone else. You can devote your time to your friends and really invest in lifelong friendships. You can stay out all night or sleep in all day.

The world is your oyster and if you don’t seize the day for yourself no one else will.

I'm not saying you can’t grow as a person in a relationship or accomplish goals. I'm not knocking relationships in general. There will be a time for each of us to have one but there is also a time and place for you. Yeah, it would be nice to go on dates or have someone to connect with on another level.

I think relationships are amazing bonds that people have, I know they aren’t perfect.

Also, I understand I am not ready for one and it doesn’t matter how much I would like to be — I simply am not ready. I need to embrace my “me” years and figure out how I am going to change the world one day (as well as start a makeup company.)

You know the cliche quote "you can't love someone unless you love yourself first," I think there's a lot of truth that lies in this quote.

If you know yourself then you know how you should be loved or want to be loved. Then you can find that love or just maybe it will find you.