Growing up without someone who's supposed to be so important to me but just disappeared out of nowhere and being so young, I did not know the reason. Finding out years later what happened and why you left still hurts but despite you not being around, I turned out okay. There has been a lot in my life you will never know and not be apart of; you were not there for me growing up, seeing me play soccer, you didn’t go to any father-daughter dances, see me graduate high school, and you weren’t there for my first heartbreak. Yet, you were my first heartbreak when you walked out. And you won’t be there for my college graduation and you won’t be there to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day.

Not having you around has taught me alot, but it has also made me have major trust issues with anyone who comes into my life. I fear that they will all end up leaving and walking away leaving me behind questioning what I did wrong, just like you did. I used to sit up at night questioning and analyzing what I could’ve done to have you walk away. After mom told me what actually happened and what the real reason was, I understood that I had no way of stopping you, you choose to walk out on your daughter. You helped me stay away from drinking because I never want to be like you, I never want to become an alcoholic like you are.

Since you walked out, I have had major trust issues whenever someone new comes into my life. I always feel like they will find something or someone better than me and walk away, just like you did. With every friend I have I feel like they secretly don’t like me even though they say they do and they prove to me that they do like me and they are here to stay. I have always had a guard up around my heart to keep myself from getting hurt, but I realize that doing this will only hurt me in the long run. I also have people who have walked into my life and has shown me that not everyone leaves and there are people who come into your life and will chose to stay. No matter what happens and no matter how much people prove to me that they are here to stay, I still feel like they will leave and leave me behind without giving a reason for walking out and giving no explanation.