To The Man I Never Got To Know
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

To The Man I Never Got To Know

364 days wasn't nearly enough time and I wish I could just have one more day.

49
To The Man I Never Got To Know

You've been weighing on my mind more and more and my first instinct was to write about you. Lately, I've been missing you more, but I often question if I have the right to miss you, after all, I didn't really know you. I've had people ask me before "How can you miss him if you were just a baby?" but me only being only a baby will never change the fact that you were my grandpa. Maybe missing you isn't the right feeling, it's more like there's a hole in my life and in my heart where you should be. I can feel your absence, but I also know that you are watching over me.

I love when I get to hear stories about you because they give me an idea of who you were. It breaks my heart that I will never have stories of my own about you to tell. I know you were not perfect, but if there is anything I've gathered from the stories I've been told, it's that you loved me very much. There are days where I crave to feel that love, but I know it never truly went away. You may not be here physically, but I know you're looking over me and sending me your love everyday.

You said I was here to take your place and the timing of it all, makes it seem like that is exactly what God had in mind. Maybe I came into this world when I did so I could be the light in my family's darkness. If I really was put here in your place, I hope that I am making you proud. I know you would love me no matter what, but I hope that you're happy with where I am and where I am going. Even when I get off track and make mistakes, I know that I have to get back up and push on, because I'm doing this all in honor of you.

There are days I want you here so bad it makes me sick. You were too young, I was too young. I know you missed a lot of important things for people who loved you, but I feel so cheated by life. You missed a lot of graduations and marriages and births and I know it may sound so selfish, but you missed my 1st birthday by a day. I wanted you there when I walked across the stage. I wanted you to approve of the man I would marry. I just wanted to have you here for something, anything.

I will never talk to you or hug you or know what you smelled like. I won't know what you looked like outside of pictures. The closest thing I have to you is the melted down ring I wear around my neck. That cross is a reminder of how no matter how much I missed out on with you, you will always be in my heart. I may not know what it was like to be around you, but I do know you're never far from me.

July 16th will make it 18 years since you left this earth. The people who knew you have had 18 years to heal and while it may get easier for them, the hole in my heart gets bigger and bigger. Nothing and no one will ever be able to replace the emptiness, but no one and nothing will ever be able to take away the love you gave me in just 364 days.

I love you so so much Paw Paw and I cannot wait for the day when I get to see you again.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

38596
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

23001
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

949441
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

126677
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments