I walked into high shool ready to love something—but I didn't know what to love. Academics were so boring to me. I knew I needed to do well in school because, in the long run, the whole purpose of high school was to excel to go to college. The fact that I needed to do well didn't actually "turn me on" simply because it was boring. I wanted to love something else, something that I didn't need to, but something that I wanted to.

That's when I was introduced to the sport, lacrosse.

I looked at the girls with such inspiration to be a part of something bigger than yourself. A bond to your teammates and coaches. They loved it, they wanted to be out there every day practicing to make themselves better. They were so effortlessly good or so it seemed.

Flash to four years later, when I was the big bad senior, that freshman looked up to, and said to themselves "I want to be just like her." I loved being out there, the adrenaline rush of the want to win and the need to be better than my teammates just pushed me to go further, run faster, hit the wall more and to inspire the young people in my life.

I watched the coaches push me to be the best I could be. And although in the moment it annoyed me to be sitting out a game to push me to be better and catch better- it proved that they were good coaches. They were hard on you, they made practice hard, they made you just want to go home a sit in a bath to make you the best player you could be. And honestly, they made you love the game.

The hardest thing I ever had to do was give it up. I remember crying on the line thinking about my senior year coming to an end. Screaming at the defense to push harder, screaming at myself to run faster, pass harder- to win. I remember the faces of former seniors when it was their last game- with the need to end the best.

I remember my teammates and I asking a million times- what time is it? For practice to be over. Now, that the weather is breaking I just wish it was 3:00 and I am walking onto that turf with my pinny on ready to practice. I wish I could smell the smells the same that I did last year.

I could've proceeded on to play in college, but the game no longer turned me on. I wasn't surrounded by my family anymore. I wasn't being pushed and pushed by the same coach anymore. I felt like I didn't even want to impress this new coach anymore. It honestly, wasn't the same.

For the love of the game I pushed myself to be the best in high school. But my love has shifted and now for the love of the future- I see myself as something other than a college athlete.

Thank you to the coaches who push athletes to better themselves, not just on the field, but in every aspect of their life. That, truly cannot be forgotten.