To the "Little" Boy Who Catcalled Me,
I'm sorry. Really, I am. I'm sorry that you saw my body and not me. I'm sorry you saw an object, a thing, and not a person. But I am a person; I'm a woman. You, it seems, are a little boy.
Now, I know you're not really a little boy. At least not physically. You are a college student, so that must mean you're basically an adult. But, I can say with complete assurance you are not a man.
I don't know you. I didn't even see your face. I have no idea who you are. You could be sitting at that coffee table two feet away from me right now. I just don't know.
I don't know because you didn't show your face. You hid in your dorm room as I walked by with my boyfriend (who is way more attractive than you--and no, I don't need to see you to be able to say that). I don't know why you felt the need to sexually harass (yes, that's what it was) me as we walked by. I guess you found it a challenge? Clearly, I'm already taken. Or perhaps you weren't trying to get a reaction out of me at all. Maybe you wanted to make my boyfriend pissed because you needed to vent some of your own anger, to get a high off someone else's pain. I don't know.
I do know you were a coward.
Don't be a coward.
Yes, you threw me off my guard. I kept walking a few steps because it took me a few moments to compute "Hey girl, I wanna get a look at your butt hole." What does that even mean? If you're going to yell something at someone, please, please, please make sure it actually makes sense. That doesn't make sense. No one wants to see that. That's gross. You were probably trying to make me feel uncomfortable, threatened. It might have worked if I'd been alone. But I wasn't. I had my best friend, my boyfriend, with me.
Don't worry, he won't kill you. Seriously, he won't. Because he's a man. He's not a coward that hides away and sexually harasses women from his dorm room window.
I'm sorry that is what you are. I'm sorry that you felt the need, for whatever reason, to say those things, to antagonize him and belittle me.
And I'm sorry I didn't respond. I walked away. I ignored it. But I want you to know that I don't think that was okay, either. Ignoring it says I don't care.
I do care. I care that you think what you said was okay. I care that you have probably done it before and will very likely do it again. I care for those girls you will yell at who are alone, who don't have someone to take their hand and say "I love you the way you deserve. I see your soul, not your body."
I'm sorry because what you said to me didn't hurt me as much as it will one day hurt you. It bounced off of me. I can laugh about it now. But I fear that one day, you will realize that the way you've treated others has left you all alone. That's far more painful than anything you could ever yell at me.
So stop being a coward. Be a man. See people as people. We're not things. We're not toys. We have souls, just like you. I pray that you realize that before it's too late.
The Woman Whose Butt Hole You'll Never See