In 174 hours, the Detroit Lions managed to decline from leading the NFC North division of the National Football League to being completely out of playoff contention for the 2013 season. You laugh, but have you wondered what it’s like to root for this team game after game, season after season, constantly battling the feeling in the pit of your stomach that something terrible is about to happen?
Before I begin, remember, this was not by choice. I was born into it. Since I was little, I have been a fan of the popular NFL franchise, the Detroit Lions. Growing up on the east side of Michigan, to be a Lions fan is a sarcastic requirement, and I have been a loyal fan since 1993. Here are some pros and cons.
The pros
Players. The Lions have some of the best players in the NFL. Calvin Johnson, Matt Stafford, Reggie Bush, Joique Bell, Ndamukong Suh and Nick Fairley are just a few names that every fantasy football coach wants to have on their team and it’s easy to see why. These guys put up numbers every week. For every dollar that Suh gets fined, Calvin Johnson breaks another record. Stafford, even when he plays terribly, is consistently a top five quarterback and Reggie Bush runs so fast, it’s almost like he’s getting paid to play. Say whatever you want, the Lions have got some amazing talent.
Entertainment. The Lions are, without a doubt, the most entertaining team in the National Football League. Win or lose, you will have fun watching the game. Where else can you see gravity defying triple coverage grabs by Johnson, immediately followed by Suh kicking someone in the nuts? Even Fauria, some undrafted guy out of UCLA, manages to entertain with his strangely erotic boy band touchdown dances. Lions games are many things, but never boring.
The cons
The worst thing about being a Detroit Lions fan is that the Detroit Lions suck. We aren’t good. The last time the Lions won a National Championship was in 1957, eight years before the Super Bowl even existed. The Lions are one of four teams never to go to a Super Bowl and the first team to ever lose all sixteen games in a single season. Expectations are extremely low for this team and it’s easy to see why.
No Respect. When I tell people I am a Lions fan, they laugh, scoff. They don’t consider me to be a “real” football fan. Bandwagon Baltimore Ravens fans look down on us and they haven’t even visited the state of New York. Not only do other football fans give our team no respect, but they trash us and our faith. Even those idiot cheese-head Packers fans laugh at us, even after that whole Thanksgiving day beat down they never seem to speak of.
Every preseason, Lions fans tell themselves, “this is our year,” only to be disappointed again. But do they desert? Do Lions fans leave to support cheesy, mustache-wearing, commercialized egocentrics? No. Do we sell out to some other politically corrupt, nearly bankrupt city that can’t even spell? Hell no. We stay loyal to our politically corrupt and nearly bankrupt city with a crappy football team.
Follow me on Twitter @DontTreadOnMe93.
