You need a ride? I’ll take you.
You need a dollar? I’ve got five.
You need somewhere to stay? Have my bed, I’ll take the couch.

There’s not much doubt that I am a giver in life. If someone needs money or food or anything for that matter, I am willing to help. It sounds like a good thing at first glance, a friend who is always willing to help everyone. However, the more it happens, and the more I give, the worse it gets.

I grew up without many friends. I never had a social group to hang out with or birthday parties to attend. It was hard being a loner in elementary school which is where we are molded into the person we will soon become. Because of my constant loneliness, I spent a lot of time with my brothers and their friends, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. The boys taught me so many lessons which I believe helped me become a better person in life. But it’s hard being the girl without my own peers to back me up. Near the end of my high school career and the first couple of years of college, I learned that the more you give to people, the more “friends” you have.

So I started searching for (buying) my friends.

I gained my friends by buying them food (primarily wings from Hooters), drinks, or backing people for bowling. I would give rides to almost anywhere, cover shifts at work, and do peoples’ homework any day of the week. It worked, for the most part. I had people everywhere-- when they needed me. However, whenever I needed someone, it was often hard to find anyone willing to help.

I get taken advantage of. A lot more than I’d like to admit. People ask me for something or to do things for them because they know that I will not say no. In those times, I have missed classes, skipped out on homework, lost A LOT of sleep, and always put others before myself. Which, again, should be a good thing, right? Selflessness is supposed to be a positive attribute; however, like alcohol, it’s great in moderation and often very poor in large quantities. One must learn their tolerance and discover how to handle what they get themselves into.

I, for one, did not and still have not been able to see that line. I know it is there and I also know that I am too nice, that I give too much, and that I do too much for those I love and, sometimes, those I don’t even know.

But how do you stop, when it’s all you know?