We are addicted to our thoughts. We cannot change anything if we cannot change our thinking. If we were able to change our thinking, just imagine how magnificent the possibilities could be. From depression to addiction, this could all be cured. With only one simple thought. However, for those of us who have witnessed any battles with either of these bouts, we all know that it is harder to overcome than it seems.

I used to wonder as a little girl as to why people were always so negative to each other, why our world was so corrupt and why our brains were so easily polluted with junk. It occurred to me that what we see in turn becomes a part of us. I have seen addiction since the day I was born.

My mother had a rather difficult time with it. I am comfortable saying that addiction has always been a part of me. I carried the weight of her struggles throughout my life just like I’m sure many others who loved her dearly did as well.

If only I could have thought loud enough to actually make her see what she was doing to herself.

As a child, there was not much I could change. Growing up, I learned to love her from afar. I did my best to make sure she knew every second of every hour that she was dearly loved by me — no matter how difficult her ongoing battle was and no matter how many miles were in between us. I made sure to tell her often to never let her fire go out. The world that she desired could be hers for the taking. That the world she wanted, a world of sobriety existed, it was real, it was possible and it could be hers. Unfortunately, that fire which had once burned so bright in my mother became swallowed up, and that inexhaustible spark of joy that shined in her emerald eyes faded and is now gone.

There is not much I could say at this point that I’m sure has not been thought about in the recent days of her passing. I can’t take away the hurt, the pain or the longing that I can see in everyone’s eyes. God only knows how much I wish I could though. What I can bestow upon everyone is the knowledge that I always loved to share with my mother, and I know that she would want me to share with everyone as well. Although the passing of my mother is deeply sad and will be grieved by all of us, it should also be a celebration of the life that she did have here on this planet. It should also serve as a reminder to all of us that, maybe, we ourselves, could benefit from changes in our lifestyle. I say this because our life is temporary here on earth, and we only have a limited time.

My mother, although burdened with addiction, still had the purest and exuberant spirit.

At any and every moment, she would be open for anything even under the condition she was in. So many people to this day live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are so conditioned to a life of security in the ways of which they are set. My mother, Lauren, always had an unsure future even from the beginning, but maybe that is what she wanted. Maybe she never intended to leave the world like this, but she is free to roam wherever her heart desires — whether it's frolicking in a farm pasture or swimming among the sea creatures.

The very basic core of a person's living spirit is their passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon for each day to have a new and different sun. I know now my mother has this as she sits above and lets her light shine down on all of us. I know going forward in my life, I will treasure the memories I had with my mother, just as I encourage each and every one of you to do the same.

Every time I see the sun shining down from the heavens, I know that is her saying hello and wrapping her arms around me.